Why I prefer the Auto Rickshaw...

Ever since Abhishek Mishra cancelled his Ola Cabs booking, he has become a celebrity on Twitter. Had I known the power of a tweet, I could have preempted him many times over...

• Cancelled an Ola Cabs booking because the driver was Rahul. I was afraid, if he oversped the escape velocity would take me to outer space.
• Cancelled an Ola Cabs booking because the driver was Akhilesh. I wasn’t sure if he would travel without his Bua.
• Cancelled an Ola Cabs booking because the driver was Narendra. He would have stopped at each pakoda stall on the way & I prefer samosas.
• Cancelled an Ola Cabs booking because the driver was Arvind. What if he dropped me midway & staged a dharna? (But I did apologise to him.)
• Cancelled an Ola Cabs booking because the driver was Aditya. The encounter would not have been pleasant if he turned out to be from Gorakhpur.
• Cancelled an Ola Cabs booking because the driver was Laloo. Mere paas chaara nahi tha.
• Cancelled an Ola Cabs booking because the driver was Vikas. I wasn’t sure when/if he would arrive.
• Cancelled an Ola Cabs booking because the driver was Shashi. I didn’t have enough dictionaries to decipher what he would have said.
• Cancelled an Ola Cabs booking because the driver was Biplab. I thought his GPS device would have taken us back in time.
• Cancelled an Ola Cabs booking because the driver was Salman. I hate being driven on the pavements.

I now prefer to take the humble auto rickshaw. Because, apart from the above reasons, I prefer Whatsapp!

Mera Bharat Mahan

The new Tripura CM, Biplab Deb, is in the news. I haven’t gone through the news reports but only the headlines where he claims that the internet & satellites were already there in India during the good old days of Mahabharata. While many have been ridiculing him on these claims, I do not (despite he being a neta). Maybe (as I said, I haven’t read the reports) he has given enough justification for this but the media has been selective in highlighting only one point. Maybe he hasn’t put forth any evidence which could be because he had so many other things to talk about. Whatever be the case, I have always believed what he said but was not brave enough to put it forth publicly. Now that a person of his eminence has spoken thus, I feel confident of expressing myself freely. So, here I go…

It was in the late 90’s that we woke up to a world of connected computers. Which has now ensnared mobiles & other gadgets, the reason it was called the world wide web in the first place. If you get down to the basics, the computers work on the binary system, i.e. only 2 numerals (0 & 1) drive the entire computing operation. And everyone knows India invented the Zero. Having done so, the next logical step would have been invention of the computer. And once computers were there, could the internet be far behind? (India-1, Librandus-0)

If you look back in history, technology (and innovation) has been synonymous with economic advancement. While the industrial revolution brought prosperity to Europe, post-WW2 years have belonged to US for leading scientific & technological development. The last three decades have been powered by Silicon Valley allowing US to stay atop the global pecking order. China began its revival with copy-paste manufacturing, but has since caught up with the technology leaders (e.g. Alibaba). Even our most diehard anti nationals & presstitutes would agree that India was once known as the Golden Sparrow. A time when art, culture, trade, commerce & economy flourished. It would actually be a contradiction that advanced technology was absent in the India of those times. (India-2, Librandus -0)

The technology behind rockets that deliver satellites into space & the missiles that rain on Iraq & Syria is the same. Those of you who have watched the landmark teleserials, Ramayana & Mahabharata, would be aware that India of those times had the most amazing & diverse range of missiles. It is thus logical that our ancestors were in a position to send a communication device into outer space on a projectile? (India-3, Librandus -0)

Except for Zero, an envious western world has always denied India the rightful credit for a host of discoveries & inventions. Take the aircraft, for example. The world has been brainwashed to believe that the Wright brothers made the first successful manned flight, while Leonardo Da Vinci had the drawings ready for a helicopter concept. So, what about the Pushpak Vimana which carried Rama & family back to Ayodhya after vanquishing Ravana? This is a well-documented fact but the disbelievers simply refuse to be convinced. Which is quite stupid, because these communists weren’t witness to the Wright brothers flying. (India-4, Librandus -0)

Many of us are too enamoured of the West, overlooking our own achievements. It took an apple to fall on Newton’s head for them to discover gravity, something which has been around since the beginning of time. Even today, there is a significantly large no. of people in the White World who believe that the earth is flat despite their own spacemen coming back with 1^st hand evidence. On the other hand, our forefathers knew this fact centuries ago despite never having ventured into outer space (not including the one instance when Hanuman swallowed the Sun). (India-5, Librandus -0)

Of course, the world does acknowledge the existence of Harappa & Mohandojaro, the planned urban habitats that existed when the living condition of the westerners could be described as, at best, barbarian. But these could not survive the onslaught of nature & perished. So did a lot of our ancient knowledge, primarily because the knowledge was passed to subsequent generations orally. Most grown-ups would not remember the table of 17 or the basic trigonometric formulae, assuming they memorized these while in school. But our ancestors not only memorized large texts (Vedas & the rest) but also made the kids learn these without any writing aids. Obviously, brains which stored & processed such huge data would be capable of achieving what the modern man cannot even dream of. (India-6, Librandus -0)

We should also appreciate that Mr. Deb was speaking about the Internet (something he uses daily) & the Satellite (something he knows something about). On the other hand, there are some eminent netas who would not be able to speak even three sentences on scientific terms (like Escape Velocity) they freely use in their speeches. (Biplab Deb-3, Librandus-0)

This is a good enough score for the antinational brigade to pack up their bags & retire. I know they would not, but they can at least stop ridiculing Mr. Deb. At least he has not, unlike some of his colleagues, raped kids or shielded rapists (yet).

Pic Courtesy: http://www.kidsgen.com/fables_and_fairytales/indian_mythology_stories/hanuman.htm

The Games They Play

The last few weeks have been memorable for Indian sports.

And not just because of the Commonwealth Games where we secured the highest no. of medals ever. It began in China, who has been needling us militarily & suffocating us economically, in the Davis Cup. Tennis is one sport in which India trumps China every time. For the Davis Cup tie this time they hosted us at Tainjin where it gets really cold. The chill helped them go up 2-0 on Day-1. On the 2^nd day, Paes & Bopanna paired up to reduce the deficit & the two games on the 3^rd day went on our favour too. Now, Paes & Bopanna have been loath to team up to represent India in multi-nation events. But they buried the old animosity this time to emerge victorious. Reminded me of the leaders of SP & BSP who, forgetting historical events, now share a Bua-Bhatija relationship.

The we had the Table Tennis players who put up a stupendous show, the ten member team winning 8 medals (including both the team Golds). The surprise run began with the girls dethroning Singapore in the finals. The undisputed star was Manika Batra who, nails painted in the tricolor, won 4 medals (in each of the event she entered). Reminded me of BJP whose testosterone fueled nationalism demolished most national & regional parties in the last general elections & most of the state elections since.

Hockey is considered our national game, not because it originated here but because this was the lone sport where we excelled since pre-independence days. Since the last many years, it has been on a steady decline. At Gold Coast, we topped the pool to reach the semis where we ended up losing the Bronze medal tie to England who we defeated in the group stage. Reminded me of Rahul Gandhi, whose rallies draw huge crowds but, post-results, he inevitably ends up on the losing side.

Wrestling has been our strong point at the CWG’s. This edition was also no different. The 12-member team returned with 12 medals (5 Golds, 3 Silvers, 4 Bronzes). It seems the akhada-trained strong men (and women) simply could not lose. Reminded me of Mukhtar Ansari (and many others), the mafia don turned neta who has been winning UP assembly elections for more than 20 years now.

India hasn’t done well in Squash traditionally unlike our “friends” across the western border. But Dipika Pallikal & Joshna Chinappa have put up some notable performances in the past. At Gold Coast, their pair reached the finals & ended up with a Silver. A creditable achievement in itself, all though could think (and crib) about was some refereeing errors. Reminded me of Mamata Banerjee.

India has a long history of success in Badminton. Prakash Padukone winning the All England way back in 1980. For the past some years now, it’s the girls who have kept the flag flying high in the sport. Saina won the Gold in 2010 (18 years after Syed Modi last did so) but missed the last edition. During this period she saw Sindhu hogging the limelight & glory. But Saina came back to defeat Sindhu & secure the gold medal this time. Reminded me of the communists which regained power in Kerala after losing it everywhere else (in India & the world).

These splendid two sporting weeks for the Indian sports fan have ended. And reminded me of our netas who have, during this period, spoken about nothing else but Kathua & Unnao rape cases.

Pic courtesy: http://indianexpress.com/article/sports/commonwealth-games/commonwealth-games-2018-opening-ceremony-p-v-sindhu-leads-india-to-gold-coast-5123385/