The
day Arnab Goswamy resumed his battle against the “Saffron terrorism” bogey, started with media reports of another public figure defining a new branch of
terrorism – Social Terrorism. That’s what chairperson of Rajasthan Human Rights
Commission, Justice Prakash Tatia, called live-in relationships (http://indianexpress.com/article/india/live-ins-are-type-of-social-terrorism-rights-panel-chief-4804623/).
Which left me pondering, why great contemporary thinkers are cropping up in
Rajasthan? But with my limited intellectual capabilities, I couldn’t really
fathom this & left it unanswered. But an idle mind with plenty of time to
spare just doesn’t stop & I began looking for other types of terrorism that
we come across. As I discovered, these are quite a few:
Bovine Terrorism: Not the Gau Rakshaks. These kind
hearted guys are to gaai’s what Bittu Sahgal was to tigers. I am actually
alluding to the docile quadrupeds found masticating on the streets, oblivious
to the chaos that our streets are. Kabir Khan, in Chak De India, could foretell where the Aussie player was going to hit the ball. I can give the
Kabir Khans of the world all the time they need to forecast what these cows
will do next. Something the civic commuters have still not been able to decode.
I once believed I had found an easy way to avoid the cows – start walking. But
soon enough realized that one can avoid either the cow or the dung, not both.
Beauty Terrorism: No, it isn’t a “kamaal ladki” who “ankhiyo
se goli maare”. It is actually the most benign of beings, the peacock. Yes, peacocks
are found aplenty in Baroda & they have become used to the morning walkers.
A peacock with its feathers spread out is a common sight & its
pictures/videos are regularly circulated on local whatsapp groups. But I have also
seen tough guys (of the Sunny Deol type) come to tears at the sight of this
beautiful bird. Simply because (as one knowledgeable soul told me) they were
unable to bring tears in their eyes the previous night (for details, http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/peacocks-mate-cow-national-animal-rajasthan-judge-sharma/1/967453.html).
Yes, a very subtle kind of terror that strikes the least likely victims.
Adhaar Terrorism: This one is serious & very real. When
it was introduced, it was as if we will finally have an identity that we could
flaunt. All along we have been driving without a license card. We had a voter’s
I-card but someone always cast our vote before we reached the polling booth.
But this time they were also collecting our fingerprints & we did not feel
like criminals. Even after the actual cards were delivered with our photos!
For, a founder of India’s premier IT company was the brain behind this. But now
everyone is asking for the adhaar details, which shouldn’t normally bother us.
We are the ones who give away our log-in passwords & ATM pins to anyone who
asks for it. I still don’t mind that adhaar has become mandatory for almost
anything – from filing one’s tax returns to getting entry into a movie hall. But
I am worried that the bootlegger may also make deliveries only after submission
of adhaar details. Scary, isn’t it?
Scientific Terrorism: This come in all forms. At one end we
have those who present papers at global conferences conducted in Nagpur,
proving that Newton was an Indian & it was not an apple that fell on his
head but a modak that accidentally slipped out of Ganesha’s hand. At the other
end of the spectrum we have the neighbours who offer Patanjali-branded biscuits
& snacks to visitors. While the former are found in newspaper reports &
facebook posts, one cannot avoid the latter. I now carry a bottle of water when
I visit these types & inform that I drink only Gangajal. Because when it
comes to holiness, Ganga rates much higher than the Gau-mata!!
Cutting Edge Terrorism: The likes of Mossad, KGB & CIA
would willingly spend their entire budgets acquiring this skill. When men with
scissors bring the creative minds to the edge of sanity. You may argue that stuff
churned out by Bollywood is equally senseless. You may defend the need to
preserve our culture & heritage. You may be worried about the adverse
influence movies have had on the social fabric. But one of the victims has been
Agent 007 himself. Yes, add MI6 also to the list.
Friendly Terrorism: Friends who know your secrets could
have been classified as one, but we know their secrets too. However, this is when
someone begins to address you as “Mitro”.
But
we are a great nation. Fears such as these are but small blips in our
existence. We know how to move on despite what the Kasabs & Wanis may
achieve. As Gabbar Singh said, ”Jo darr gaya, samjho mar gaya”?
Pics credit:
Ankhiyon se goli maare: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/XI4xuUrw3ds/maxresdefault.jpg
James Bond: https://litreactor.com/columns/5-storytelling-lessons-you-can-learn-from-james-bond
Ankhiyon se goli maare: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/XI4xuUrw3ds/maxresdefault.jpg
James Bond: https://litreactor.com/columns/5-storytelling-lessons-you-can-learn-from-james-bond