Inviting suggestions for Team Anna (party symbol/name)

Team Anna is deliberating on giving an overt political dimension to its movement. Most desirable option is forming a political party & contesting the elections. This would prove the identification of the masses with their beliefs & ideology.

Invite your suggestions for a suitable symbol, and name, for Anna Hazare's political party.

To help you get started, I have put together the symbols of some prominent (and not so prominent) political parties in India & what the symbols stand for.

AIADMK: Just as the leaves grow on the stem they grow on, we shall also derive our sustenance from the people who vote for us. 

Akali Dal: An empty scale is the most balanced. We shall also balance our electoral scale with empty promises & no performance.

Biju Janta Dal: Forget utility, we mean to have our voice heard. Actions be damned.

BJP: Just like the lotus, the seat of power is found in in the muck of electoral politics and we shall defy age & ethics in our quest for power & position.

BSP: Those in the legislature or parliament may bark themselves hoarse, we shall do whatever we like. That's what a thick skin is meant for. (If you have any doubts, pls note that the symbol pre-dates ascendancy of the current chief of BSP.)

Communist Party of India: As the original & true representative of the proletariat, we shall turn the entire country into a rural utopia.

Communist Party of India (Marxist): Hammer & sickle from no conditions rise, wave the red flag, there the revolution lies.

Congress: The hand that robs the nation, rules its coffers. 

DMK: As the sun rises to dispel the darkness, our sons (and daughters too) shall rise to take up our positions when we are physically no longer up to the task. 

Indian National Lok Dal: As we seek power, we may become short-sighted. The glasses would help us see the goal clearly.

Shared by Jharkhand Mukti Morcha & Shiv Sena: Ready for battle, anytime, anywhere, any reason.

MDMK (Marumalarchi DMK): We shall maintain our balance & try to stay in power in the midst of changing alliances & electoral verdicts. Like a spinning top.

Muslim League Kerela State Committee: Given support, we shall find our own way up.

Nationalist Congress Party: My time will come.

PMK (Pattali Makkal Katchi): The fruits of power are sweet & nothing is sweeter than the king of fruits. Whatever be the duration of our rule, we shall maximise our earnings during that period.

Rashtriya Janta Dal: Who needs electricity? With a lantern in hand, we shall lead you from darkness to light.

Revolutionary Socialist Party: If every one is armed with a spade & shovel, who needs excavators & dumpers? We will dig the grave of industrialisation & mechanisation.

Samajwadi Party: We strive to make the lives of common man more comfortable. We shall promote the use of bicycles as a favoured means of transport for reasons of health & environment. The funds allocated for the road sector shall be used to fill the potholes on the roads (and our own bank accounts).

Trinamool Congress: Those who call this flower "fool" are all either naxalites, maoists or communists.

Uttarakhand Kranti Dal: Its all about the Kursi, stupid! (This is one is my favourite for being so blatantly honest, sincere & truthful!) 

For an international flavour, here are the logos of the major parties in the most advanced democracy (USA):

 

Democratic Party: I am an ass

Republican Party: I have a bigger ass

IPL - Drama abhi baaki hai, mere dost

The cat is out of the bag! The banning of SRK from Wankhede is motivated by political considerations. It now transpires that the Congress High Command manipulated the situation so that it could garner the support of Shiv Sena (and MNS too) for its presidential nominee. This is in response to the uncertainty of Mamta Banerjee's stance on its candidate. Congress fears that if Didi aligns with Amma, there is every likelihood of its candidate losing, something it can ill afford after losing all these state polls.

The whole drama was micro-managed by the self-styled chief strategist of Congress - Digvijay Singh, according to a reliable source close to 10 Janpath. Digvijay Singh also realises that banning SRK might alienate the muslim vote but he is banking on pressure from Trinamool Congress to revoke the ban, upon which BCCI would acquiesce to the ally's demand. This would kill 2 birds with one stone - have its candidate as a president as well as keep the alliance with TMC intact.

After a string of failures, dating back to 1998, Diggi Raja is convinced that the time has come to redeem himself. Having got SRK banned, he is now planning to get Rahul Gandhi elected as the next president of BCCI. He is also persuading Robert Vadra to acquire stake in one of the IPL franchisees.

As expected, Didi is fuming. Mamta Banerjee has blamed the CPM for the ban on SRK as part of its plan to destabilise her government, defame the state of West Bengal & ridicule the trinamool cadre. She has already written to the IPL Governing Council that applauding every legal delivery by a KKR bowler & each run by KKR batsmen should be made mandatory. (N. Srinivasan is sitting on this demand as CSK is still in the fray for a final berth, at the time of reporting.)

As if this was not enough for the IPL organisers, Baba Ramdev has threatened to observe 20-minute fasts for 20 days at Ramlila Maidan to protest against the various skeletons tumbling out of the IPL cupboard. Among his other demands are:

• Only vegetarians be allowed to play the league
• In the place of foreign physios supporting the teams, the franchisees should hire the services of yoga experts
• Instead of post-match parties, the teams should attend meditation camps for physical & spiritual rejuvenation
• The source of funds of IPL & its franchisees should be traced (as per Ramdev's estimates, around Rs. 13,52,798 Crores have been laundered by the franchisees)

Not to be left behind, Anna Hazare is also planning an agitation against IPL. When asked whether this would not divert his attention from Lokpal, Hazare gave the example of Mahatma Gandhi who had successfully opposed the Bombay Pentangular Cricket tournament. As the last surviving Gandhian, Hazare believes he is duty bound to emulate each of Gandhiji's struggle. What is more likely, he has realised that getting the Lok Pal bill passed is beyond his capabilities & has taken up an easier crusade.

Aamir Khan is also taking up the plight of the bowlers in his show - Satyamev Jayate. Amir believes that sport should be a medium to reinforce human values - equality, justice & compassion. Bowlers being hit over the boundary not only scars them psychologically, but also poses physical risks to the fielders on the boundary & spectators in the stands. As with all his projects, the details are a closely guarded secret. Those in the know have hinted that Amrita Singh, Sangeeta Bijlani & Poonam Pandey (fully clothed) are expected to participate in the show.

With all this happening around me, I cannot help but play spoilsport too. If my current pet peeve, Shri Markanday Katju (a former judicial official & now the Press Council chief), has been silent all this while, don't be surprised. He has been putting all those words on paper & is planning to front page it on all national dailies. To steal his thunder, Shri Katju wants all the foreign cheergirls to be deported & replaced by those adept at Indian classical dance forms. If you are patient, Shri Katju's opinions would be shortly available in a 5-column front page boxed story in the major dailies.

Solar is Power!!

Narendra Modi shares his trait of being ambitious with all politicians, but is an exception in being extremely focused on his goals as well as shrewd enough to achieve these goals. He has not only managed to become a CM, but also is the sole leader in his home state. His goal of being the PM is not even a secret & could be a reality sooner or later, Nitish Kumar's opposition notwithstanding.

However, more this is delayed, his dream of being a future Secretary General of the UN risks being just a dream. Modi also realises this & has put together his Plan-B. He wants India to take the lead in creating an OPEC-type organisation for solar power. He is also leading the drive for increasing solar power generation in the state. 

Modi has already made Gujarat the Gas capital of India. But Modi has discovered that the fossil fuels would be all gone in less than 20-30 years. 

Thus, Modi wants India & other sunlight-rich countries to form an organisation on the lines of OPEC. If Modi's doomsday forecast turns out to be true, then this solar cartel would be in a position to manage the sunlight reaching the earth & replace OPEC as the prime influence on the global energy market. I am sure, if this plan takes concrete shape, it would be led by none other than the visionary Modi. 

This collective, code-named SEC-C for Solar Energy Cooperation Council, would call the shots in all matters related to the sun. With a leader as dynamic as Modi, India would be on its way to be a global power as the pioneer & leader of this collective. 

The draft manifesto of the body is:

• Reduce the dependence on fossil fuels & move towards a sustainable future by effective control of nature, beginning with the Sun.

• Estimate & categorise the countries according to the Gross Annual Sunlight (GAS) received. GAS would be a function of annual sunlight days, sunlight intensity, landmass occupied, etc.. Countries receiving 40% of the global GAS shall be invited to become SEC-C members. Countries having sun on their flags would become honorary members, while those having Moon on their flags would be barred from membership, irrespective of GAS they receive.

• Each SEC-C country would have voting right proportionate to the GAS it receives. The annual GAS received by each country would be tracked closely.

• Make GAS a tradeable commodity, that can be exchanged for other energy. Any country receiving more than its defined GAS, shall be liable to return the equivalent energy to the SEC-C nations in the form of other fuels or duly defined compensation mechanism.

• Each country would be assigned targets to utilise GAS it receives by converting it into energy. Countries failing to do so can purchase credits from SEC-C members in an exchange. If SEC-C nations receive less sunlight in a year, they shall be compensated by the non-SEC-C nations for the same.

• During a solar eclipse, a global mahayagna, presided over by the SEC-C leader, would be conducted to appease the sun & grant of additional GAS.

• SEC-C shall stand for correcting historical wrongs. As a first step, Earth's axial tilt shall be corrected to enable a more equitable distribution of GAS. As a result, the unfair advantage of certain countries with respect to receipt of sunlight would be corrected.

• The SEC-C officials would be free to travel to any place that receives sunlight & would not need any visa for doing so. A country denying such permission/visa to a SEC-C leader shall not be entitled to receive any sunlight till the permission is granted.

• As befits its status, SEC-C decisions shall be assumed to be endorsed by all countries receiving sunlight. Any questions on about the methods, objectives, results or intentions of SEC-C shall be construed to be an attack on the respect of SEC-C member countries & strong action shall be taken against erring parties.

This is hush-hush at the moment as the initial contours of SEC-C are currently being sketched. Till it is officially announced, you may all practice the new global SEC-C anthem (first sung in the Karishma Kapoor starrer - Khuddar).

P.S.: The European Energy Review reports that "the world has plenty of oil". If this is true, then we need not worry about the longevity of fossil fuels & all this GAS would be nothing but hot air. This may not be bad news for the rest of us, but Modi's advisors & speech writers better watch out!