Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Luis Suarez - A Carnivore on the Prowl

This is not the first time a sportsperson has bitten another. This is also not the first time that Luis Suarez (@luis16suarez) has done so. But this is the first time that Suarez dug his teeth into a rival footballer at the biggest stage - the FIFA World Cup. 

Though the referee didn't take any action, this was definitely not a love bite.

Here's what they have been saying about it on Twitter, Facebook & Whatsapp:

Sahil Kothadia - Suarez could not resist the handsome Italian...    
(Should the players take the field wearing a face mask to avoid Suarez's attention?)

Sidd Gandhi If you can't beat them, bite them 
(but, didn't they beat Italy?)

Perseus Contractor - Mike Tyson sues Luis Suarez...... That act was under copyright.... 
(Suarez should be moving to China now!)

BP Singh - Good that incident didn't happen in India otherwise Suarez would have been arrested under Article 377 (homosexual misconduct)!
(Now, you know why I didn't mention India, along with China, above)

The food industry marketers, for obvious reasons, loved this moment & were instantly on the job!

If Snickers don't reach out & sign Luis Suarez up for one of those "you're not yourself when you're hungry" ads, they're failing
(Will Snickers rise to the challenge?)

was so hungry before the match but his coach didn't gave him food to eat so finally he did this.

When footballers retire they hang up their boots. When Suarez retires he will stop sharpening his teeth.

 - Liverpool Fans n Modi Bhakts r going through da same phase now. Both da Fan groups r hurt but still acting Normal.
(Now, this guy has a severe case of Modiphobia)

Suarez has taken the concept of a "dangerous striker" to a new level,enough is enough vampire needs to ban before he strike again.
(Does he mean FIFA is a vampire?)

BREAKING: Mike Tyson accepts Suarez's friend request!
(But so natural!!)

players to wear garlic necklace in next match to ward off Suarez.
(This should be made the standard wear in EPL too!)

Liverpool Echo headline: 'Italian defender viciously shoulder butts King Suarez in the teeth'

I am convinced we need Brad Pitt to step up and save football from this zombie
(I am not, but our Rajinikanth would be a better bet)

Suarez! Your teeth are already prominent, stop biting people! It's like attacking people with his ears.

ironically, "Chiellini" in Arabic means "eat me". that means Chiellini was asking for it.
(Footballers should adopt a safe nickname to avoid such risks)

And a couple from  :
Luis Suarez must like his Italian food. 
Luis Suarez has done a Luis Suarez! Another bite!

Luis Suarez, with another bad case of toothache.

(Were the lady in the TV commercial to ask Suarez, "Kya aapke toothpaste mein namak hai?", the whole of Italy would respond "Noooo!!!")

Crime & Punishment: The football fans (apart from those at Anfield) love Suarez for his skills & would like to restrain this trait of his. Some of these (not the ones at Anfield, obviously) fans, probably primary school teachers, came up with excellent ideas to punish (and restrain) Suarez.

 - Luis Suarez should have to box Mike Tyson as punishment.
(It may end up being a biting match, rather than a boxing match)

If Suarez was from Arab country, as a punishment they would have remove all his 32 teeth 
(The Arab players, going by this, should be the best behaved players!)

There were others too who were looking at possible ways to curb this instinct of an otherwise wonderful player.  came up with this solution (on the right).

And  knew just the perfect way to prevent a recurrence! (see the pic below)

And finally, an appeal for Suarez. Hope, at least this works...

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