Saturday, January 3, 2015

Or do you prefer one of these Ghar Wapsi's? post is not about the much publicized programme of the very vocal & emboldened Sangh parivar outfits. This is just a year-beginning (too late for a year-ending one) list of those illustrious candidates (in no particular order) who want to have, or those some want to see having, or those have been successful in, their own Ghar Wapsi. So, here I go…

Narendra Modi – The sarcastic opposition parliamentarians were clamouring for his Ghar Wapsi from a longish stint of diplomatic duty & election campaigns. He did, yet they were unable to hear him speak what they wanted to hear. Tough luck, said an even more sarcastic Jashodaben.

Anna Hazare – His was the most dramatic return to base. After firing up an entire nation’s imagination, he went back to Ralegan Siddhi once his lieutenant’s political ambitions outgrew the movement. When he conquered Delhi’s maidan & the streets elsewhere, who would have imagined that 2 years later he would not even make it to the inner pages of newspapers? Chand – She was a champion athlete in making. But he had to withdraw from competition owing to excess of androgens in her system. Now he has been cleared & she is gearing up to be back on track, literally. Hope she celebrates her Ghar Wapsi with plenty of medals for herself & India, and muck for her detractors. Kejriwal – Whether the Delhi electorate wishes it or not, AK has decided for himself that Ghar Wapsi is the only option left open after the drubbing at Varanasi. As a sympathizer & supporter one can only wish, whatever be the outcome, we don’t end up discussing the rent he pays for the Ghar. And of course, a healthy, cold-free, cough-free Wapsi. Dutt – The frequency with which he has been in & out of Yerawada, it is not just his family but fellow inmates too who keep looking forward to his Ghar Wapsi. One can’t fault Sanju baba though, it’s a homecoming for him in either direction.

Team India – The losses that the men in blue have piled up in overseas contests piling up, the fans have given up on them delivering “ache din”. BCCI has to anchor Team India in India by having a longer IPL because that’s the only time our stars shine.
Azam Khan’s Buffaloes – The entire UP Police turned out in strength to ensure the Ghar Wapsi of these VIP Quadrupeds. Maneka Gandhi would have been proud of our Men in Khaki, had they not been under the orders of a rival political party. Last heard, the ASEAN countries have requested a contingent of UP Police to be permanently stationed there for recovery of missing aircrafts.

Congress – The party of the babalog won’t be able to emulate the fairy tale of Azam Khan’s buffaloes. The party of freedom fighters is now a party of the sons & daughters, nephews & nieces, sons-in law & daughters-in-law of the sons & daughters, nephews & nieces, sons-in law & daughters-in-law of the freedom fighters. And they have a long wait ahead of them before their own Dada/Dadi/Nana/Nani ke Ghar (aka Parliament) Wapsi.

Mallika Sherawat – If she is still in Hollywood, what’s she doing there? Now that even Ms. Leone (of all people) has started wearing clothes in her movies, its time Ms. MS made a Ghar Wapsi & reclaim the turf that was originally hers! Janta Party offshoots – With BJP occupying the right of antics & centre of politics and the left front left behind in the polls, the various left-of-centre, centre-of-left & left-out-of-centre netas who migrated to politics of caste, religion, language, region & what not, have planned a grand Ghar Wapsi & revive the grandeur of the original Janta Party. Relevance may or may not matter in Indian politics, but will it be back to the front for this born again Front?

MS Dhoni – He ended the year with a helicopter shot of an announcement. The Man with a mane turned Captain Cool will now focus only on ODI’s & T-20’s. Not technically a Ghar Wapsi, it is more of a Vidai from the longer formats.

Now, this is a cue for another year-end list – of the vidai’s we long for. But I will keep it for next year! Return to check it out.


  1. Nice play of words.
    Can be used to teach
    Figures of speech
    To students huddled in a herd.

    1. Reciprocal sentiments!! (The company one keeps helps!)

      Not to forget the present times being so inspiring ;)

  2. Very well written, Dimri! Loved reading it.


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