Friday, February 14, 2014

Salt & Pepper

Yesterday's incident in the Parliament when a member used pepper spray to effectively achieve his objective has shocked those outside the Parliament, as much as it did the ones inside. Of course, We the People (outside the parliament), do not deserve any soundbites. But why did media not report the reaction of our more prominent leaders? Possibly because the newspaper hacks had rushed out after the pepper attack. Not to worry, I have toiled and compiled what our eminent personalities said...

Arnab Goswami - India wants to know how such a shameful act took place in our most hallowed institution and tonight on Newshour, I want a commitment from our honourable parliamentarians that such an event will never ever ever ever never ever be repeated.

Digvijay Singh - Congress has a rich tradition of responsible parliamentary practices & is the only party that can provide a stable government. The pepper spray incident is a culmination of what has been happening in the current parliament. BJP has not allowed this parliament to function for the last 4 years. Only Rahulji can take this country forward as Indiraji & Rajivji did.

Rajnath Singh - This is what happens when the Parliament functions. Throughout the last 5 years, Congress has been blaming BJP for adjournments & not letting the Parliament function. Had we done so, this incident would have taken place 4 years back. This is evidence of the foresight displayed by BJP in continuously disturbing the Parliamentary proceedings & proves that only BJP is fit to rule India.

Narendra Modi - You need a 56-inch chest to withstand such attacks. Today Gujarat has 24-hours electricity and every village gets Narmada waters. You can see the waters of Narmada even in the Sabarmati river, which has started flowing again. Congress ruled this country for 60 years & Sabarmati had gone dry. People want change and a Congress-mukt Bharat.

Kapil Sibal - Narendra Modi is running away from real issues. His statement is tacit admission of his involvement in the 2002 riots. Congress is the only secular party in the country & the people are going to vote Congress in overwhelming numbers in the next general elections.

Arvind Kejriwal - I am going on a Dharna to protest against such violent & shameful behavior inside the Parliament. I have also ordered an FIR to be filed against the pepper wholesalers & Vijay Mallya. The central government should hand over the control of Delhi Police to the state government so that action can be taken against these capitalist forces.

Kiran Bedi - AAP should focus on governing Delhi. Even Anna doesn't support Kejriwal. Look, he will campaign for Mamata in the Lok Sabha elections. We need a strong PM like Modi to end corruption.

Mayawati - This is an upper caste conspiracy to oppress the Dalits. I demand elephant statues to be put up all over the Parliament to end the centuries-old exploitation of Dalits.

Rahul Gandhi - When this happened, the 1st question that I asked was what I am doing sitting here? We need empowerment of women. We need to change the way the system in this country works. I have initiated US Primaries-style selection of candidates for the Lok Sabha elections. We have brought the RTI Bill & also passed the Jan Lokpal Bill. Mummeee, mera bournvita kahan hai?

Ram Gopal Varma - This incident has really shocked me. I am now going to make a film based on this incident. Instead of black pepper, I will use red chilly powder. It will be the comeback film of Urmila Matondkar & you will see her in a new avatar. Even Brad Pitt is interested for a role in my film.

Ketan Mehta - RGV, have you not seen my film, Mirch Masala?
You may watch it on YouTube (


Ram Gopal Varma - My film will be called RGV ka Mirch Masala.

Old Man in MDH Masala commercial - Asli Masale to Sach, MDH... MDH.




Pics lifted from:




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