otherwise...: Mayawati

Showing posts with label Mayawati. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

How to Make Enemies & Annoy People

Modi spent the 1^st half of his tenure traveling all over the world & making friends with the global leaders. And he was quite successful too, except in the neighbourhood. But by withdrawing the Rs. 500 & Rs. 1000 currency notes, he has, in one stroke, frittered away the goodwill that he had earned within. Not that he cares, but here’s what the mighty & the influential are feeling today:

Bollywood: One would have thought the film industry would have been happy

to see these long queues. So what if these were at Banks & ATMs & not for some 1^st day 1^st show of a Bollywood blockbuster. But the Bollywood moguls are really worried & it is about the donation to Army Welfare Fund. Yes, the fund can be transferred electronically, but they are actually bothered with the processing fees (you know the type!) that needs to be paid for getting the film released. I think they will now move to the Sooraj Barjatiya formula – a song-studded, shot-in-studio, wedding video. Or maybe turn into theme wedding organisers for the likes of Reddy brothers of Bellary.

Rahul Gandhi: For the last many months he has been traversing the hinterland, on bikes, jeeps & choppers. He ate with the villagers & slept in their huts. This was one opportunity to mix with people he could not miss, without getting out in the heat & dust of the countryside. He stood in the queue with them, but they were busy enquiring about the open ATMs in their area. He addressed them, but the queue kept moving forward as the notes were exchanged. He was even willing to bring in cots for them, but they were in a hurry to move to the next Bank. All he got was Rs. 4000 worth of 100 rupee notes.

Mamata Bannerjee: Street battle by street battle, she fought & won against the red army till she conquered West Bengal. And having consolidated her position, she was looking at a larger role for herself at a national level. And then Modi comes up with this one. How is she going to pay her foot soldiers now? But you don’t mess with Didi without incurring her wrath. This royal Bengal tigress is now marching to Delhi. This will be more interesting than Delhi Safari!

Uddhav Thackeray: With Dawood holed up in Pakistan & friendly governments in Delhi & Maharashtra, he was now the undisputed king of Mumbai. But things are getting from bad to worse. First, the Supreme Court started meddling in the heights of human pyramids during janmashtami. Next, the state government handed over Bollywood to kid brother Raj. And now, Modi has hit where it hurts most. All that a law abiding politician can do now is smuggling & drug peddling. Well, he has now decided to join Mamata’s march to Delhi; Durga Pooja pandals can be big business too.

Raj Thackeray: Good friend Fadnavis had brokered a deal & opened up another foolproof revenue stream. Considering the size of Bollywood & the common man’s appetite for the masala it churns out, Raj Thackeray was just beginning to build up a war chest for the next BMC elections. It is now back to extorting toll booths, but even these are closed for the time being. But it’s not so bad as Uddhav is in the same mess too. Or may be a bigger one; isn’t he marching along with Mamata?

Shivraj Singh Chouhan: First he was upstaged as a high performing CM. Next, his squeaky clean image was tarnished with Vyapam. And now this demonetization. He is annoyed with this step motherly treatment to Madhya Pradesh when even those no hopers of West Bengal were allowed enough time to deposit their cash with the bank. Having already given up his aspirations to be the PM, he is now left hoping he stays along as the CM next time round too.

Mayawati: With the uncle squabbling with the nephew, daughters in law engaged in not letting the other get a foothold in state politics & Netaji content playing the Bhishma Pitamah of left-of-centre politics, she was again relishing the opportunity to be CM of the largest state again. She had geared up to complete the unfinished tasks from her previous tenure, what with all those towns still without any of her statues. But trust her to fight the upper caste as it tries to trample the Dalit’s rise in social hierarchy.

Vijay Mallaya: This one’s not annoyed. He got away in time. And with banks mopping away cash from the system, the Kingfisher Villa appears to be safe for now. And yes, he remains the King of good times & bad. Cheers!!

Pics courtesy:

Hum Aapke Hain Kaun: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/hindi/music/news/Salman-Khan-Madhuri-Dixit-starrer-Hum-Aapke-Hain-kaun/articleshow/30984692.cms

Khaat Sabha: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/As-Rahul-Gandhis-Khat-Yatra-ends-supporters-literally-take-their-seats-home/articleshow/54028666.cms

Mamata Bannerjee: http://www.topnews.in/people/mamata-banerjee?page=1

Human Pyramid: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/human-pyramid-makes-britains-talent-6395057

Mayawati ststue: http://www.tradeindia.com/fp2078353/Kumari-Mayawati-Statue.html

Vijay Mallaya: http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-scotland-business-35681740

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Post-Delhi 2015: The Road Ahead

The Delhi assembly elections are a watershed not only for the margin of victory, but also the innovative politics of the political novice - AAP. With elections looming in Bihar & UP, and later other states too, the netas need to clearly chalk out their action plan. Here are my suggestions, which they are free to accept or reject:

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/election-cartoons-how-amit-shah-narendra-modi-will-celebrate-this-diwali/507148-37.html

BJP - They engineered riots in Trilokpuri & expected electoral bounty as elsewhere. But the dividend they received was beyond their (or anyone's) wildest imagination. But course correction is not what I would advise. The next elections are in UP & Bihar, both states being as different from Delhi as Aloo Paratha from Undhiyu. Also, if you restrain Adityanath or Sakshi Maharaj from the playing fields outside, they would play mischief inside the party. I am sure Modi-Shah combine may not have forgotten his boast of being able to make/break governments. So what if the bhakts go on a production spree to meet Sakshi's 4-child criterion, it would only add to BJP's future votes! And hey, pls withdraw Sambit Patra from TV appearances. He not only turns away the loyal BJP voters, but also makes the Congressmen sound polite & humble.

http://isamrat.com/best-rahul-gandhi-joke-you-have-heard-of-late/

Congress - Its good times ahead for the Congress, as it can't get any worse for them. Having achieved the magical figure of Zero, they are spared the ignominy of being harmless spectators inside the assembly too. But its still a long time before they can sing the old Thums Up jingle - Happy Days are Here Again. With BJP appropriating the freedom fighters associated with Congress (which freedom fighter wasn't one?), it should now aim to be the flagbearer of ancient Indian civilisation (and strike BJP where it hurts most). Wasn't Zero, the Congress score, invented in ancient India? In Sonia, they actually have the perfect Gandhari, blinded by her love for her son (and son-in-law). Only that Rahul appears unfit to be Duryodhan even.

http://lighthouseinsights.in/mufflerman-arvind-kejriwal.html/

AAP - From Giant Killers to Also Ran's to Giant Killers again, all in a matter of <15 months! For the youngest kid on the political block it has been a fairy tale roller coaster. (Mixing metaphors I may be, but it is nothing compared to the concoction they served the electorate.) Having decimated BJP & exterminated Congress in Delhi, they have set their sights on UP/Bihar to weild the Jhadu against Maya, Mulayam, Laloo, Nitish & everyone else. But I say, desist. As a supporter of AAP, while not bothering about "How", I am concerned about "How Many" of their promises will they fulfill. Anything less than 10% of promises made (they have made so many!) & Kejriwal may very well snatch the sobriquet of "Fenku" too. Would it really be Modi's loss?

http://www.ndtv.com/india-news/in-lalu-yadavs-own-constituency-no-takers-for-his-buses-as-nitish-kumars-free-bicycles-rule-536089

JDU+RJD - Biharis know their politics, having little else to do back in Bihar, and I shall not contest the calculations made by these luminaries of heartland politics. If one can gobble up the cattlefeed, digest it & get back on one's feet, he sure has guts that are everyone's envy in addition to a skin thick enough to withstand the curses of the Gaiya Maiya's. However, I am sceptical of the alliance lasting long enough. Nitish thought he could do a Rabri with Manjhi, but the turn of events should make him vary of anyone outside his own family (Laloo was smarter & Rabri not ambitious). Nitish should have been prepared for such a scenario unless he had no choice. Well, Bihar is Politics is Bihar, isn't it? So, no advice for the socialists-turned-downtrodden messiahs. Once should only learn from them!!

http://defenceforumindia.com/forum/politics-society/58023-azam-khans-7-buffaloes-stolen-found.html

Samajwadi Party - Presently, its only the SP government in UP that has proved it can deliver. So what, if it was to recover Azam Khan's buffaloes. SP was also the 1st party to put its nextgen in command. All the rest were followers, but alas, it did not leverage upon its 1st mover advantage. Giving away free laptops has been its only connection with modern thought. For one, they should bring out Dimple Yadav more often, especially with Priyanka Gandhi expected to be in the forefront of the Congress & Shazia Ilmi poached by BJP. Moreover, the expected endorsement by Shri M Katju (retd. supreme court judge) of such a move would give them some sort of respectability (assuming SP really yearns for this).

http://www.socialism.in/index.php/mayawati-the-up-elections/

BSP - There was a time when Mayawati could throw her weight about in the largest state. She legitimised Dalit politics & established it as a cast-in-stone segment, something so many Ambedkarites before her had failed in. Then she had elephant statues carved out of stone & installed all over the place as a testimony to her empire. Today, that's the only thing left behind of her legacy. With the social engineers in Bihar carving out a mahadalit category & SP likely to join hands with them, she needs to do something quickly to retain relevance in the heartland. How about donating her collection of footwear, so that no Dalit ever walks barefoot again? She has more than enough pairs to do so!

http://www.indiatimes.com/india/should-we-take-mamata-seriously-40587.html

TMC - Didi appears to be one person most pleased with AAP's success. Is it because she sincerely believes it was her call to her supporters in Delhi to vote for AAP that contributed to the victory? A quick learner, she has already picked the AAP manifesto & has begun making Kolkata a WiFi city (hope it works). Her simple dressing would have made her the Aam Aurat of the East (don't forget, Anna endorsed Didi), while her contribution to the Bangladeshi migrants' welfare would have made her a perfect lieutenant to Modi in his diplomatic efforts in the neighbourhood. But Anna rediscovered his love for Kejriwal while she fell foul of Modi-Shah combine & has suffered their wrath since. The voters in Delhi heeded her call (or so she thinks) to reject those indulging in "politics of vendetta". If only the voters in Bengal are as cooperative! Its a tough task ahead of her, what with CBI under central government. Did has to put her slippers back on & hit the streets, voice rest not advisable for her. Also, forget Rabindra Sangeet & make "aaj blue hai pani pani..." the state anthem to enthuse her street fighters.

Shiv Sena - "Dost dost na raha, Bhai bhai na raha..." should be the song Uddhav Thakarey sings in the bathroom now-a-days. That's the only place he probably sings now, because at other times he is usually venting his ire against partner BJP. What was once a force to reckon with in Maharshtra, is now a spent army in its backyard of Mumbai too. With the wily Sharad Pawar cozying up to BJP, Uddhav should bury the hatchet (only figuratively) with cousin Raj & unleash the footsoldiers on the streets again. We have missed them for so long. After all, what's Mumbai without its Sena?

Images courtesy:

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/election-cartoons-how-amit-shah-narendra-modi-will-celebrate-this-diwali/507148-37.html (BJP)

http://isamrat.com/best-rahul-gandhi-joke-you-have-heard-of-late/ (Congress)

http://lighthouseinsights.in/mufflerman-arvind-kejriwal.html/ (AAP)

http://www.ndtv.com/india-news/in-lalu-yadavs-own-constituency-no-takers-for-his-buses-as-nitish-kumars-free-bicycles-rule-536089 (JDU+RJD)

http://defenceforumindia.com/forum/politics-society/58023-azam-khans-7-buffaloes-stolen-found.html (SP)

http://www.socialism.in/index.php/mayawati-the-up-elections/ (BSP)

http://www.indiatimes.com/india/should-we-take-mamata-seriously-40587.html (TMC)

Friday, February 14, 2014

Salt & Pepper

Yesterday's incident in the Parliament when a member used pepper spray to effectively achieve his objective has shocked those outside the Parliament, as much as it did the ones inside. Of course, We the People (outside the parliament), do not deserve any soundbites. But why did media not report the reaction of our more prominent leaders? Possibly because the newspaper hacks had rushed out after the pepper attack. Not to worry, I have toiled and compiled what our eminent personalities said...

Arnab Goswami - India wants to know how such a shameful act took place in our most hallowed institution and tonight on Newshour, I want a commitment from our honourable parliamentarians that such an event will never ever ever ever never ever be repeated.

Digvijay Singh - Congress has a rich tradition of responsible parliamentary practices & is the only party that can provide a stable government. The pepper spray incident is a culmination of what has been happening in the current parliament. BJP has not allowed this parliament to function for the last 4 years. Only Rahulji can take this country forward as Indiraji & Rajivji did.

Rajnath Singh - This is what happens when the Parliament functions. Throughout the last 5 years, Congress has been blaming BJP for adjournments & not letting the Parliament function. Had we done so, this incident would have taken place 4 years back. This is evidence of the foresight displayed by BJP in continuously disturbing the Parliamentary proceedings & proves that only BJP is fit to rule India.

Narendra Modi - You need a 56-inch chest to withstand such attacks. Today Gujarat has 24-hours electricity and every village gets Narmada waters. You can see the waters of Narmada even in the Sabarmati river, which has started flowing again. Congress ruled this country for 60 years & Sabarmati had gone dry. People want change and a Congress-mukt Bharat.

Kapil Sibal - Narendra Modi is running away from real issues. His statement is tacit admission of his involvement in the 2002 riots. Congress is the only secular party in the country & the people are going to vote Congress in overwhelming numbers in the next general elections.

Arvind Kejriwal - I am going on a Dharna to protest against such violent & shameful behavior inside the Parliament. I have also ordered an FIR to be filed against the pepper wholesalers & Vijay Mallya. The central government should hand over the control of Delhi Police to the state government so that action can be taken against these capitalist forces.

Kiran Bedi - AAP should focus on governing Delhi. Even Anna doesn't support Kejriwal. Look, he will campaign for Mamata in the Lok Sabha elections. We need a strong PM like Modi to end corruption.

Mayawati - This is an upper caste conspiracy to oppress the Dalits. I demand elephant statues to be put up all over the Parliament to end the centuries-old exploitation of Dalits.

Rahul Gandhi - When this happened, the 1st question that I asked was what I am doing sitting here? We need empowerment of women. We need to change the way the system in this country works. I have initiated US Primaries-style selection of candidates for the Lok Sabha elections. We have brought the RTI Bill & also passed the Jan Lokpal Bill. Mummeee, mera bournvita kahan hai?

Ram Gopal Varma - This incident has really shocked me. I am now going to make a film based on this incident. Instead of black pepper, I will use red chilly powder. It will be the comeback film of Urmila Matondkar & you will see her in a new avatar. Even Brad Pitt is interested for a role in my film.