Thursday, May 3, 2018

Some more gems by Biplab Kumar Deb

Biplab Kumar Deb (BKD) has been hogging the limelight ever since he settled down in office. Such that the media almost forgot we have a PM too. But the Karnataka elections entering the final stages, Mr. Modi has regained the spotlight. But, what afterwards? Will BKD jump the gun again? To help our PM stay in the headlines, I making some guesses what BKD will next say & steal his thunder. Because, there can be only one celebrity in India!!

India has a long history of social reform. Great men have worked hard to eradicate social practices that were a blot on our society. Right from the days of Dayanand Saraswati to Vinoba Bhave & later Baba Amte. But their efforts had only limited effect. Like Gandhiji, who spoke on & practiced personal hygiene but was unable to transform the society till Modiji took this up. However Akshay Kumar, inspired by Modiji,  made a movie (Toilet) on the subject & encouraged the entire country to support & practice Swachha Bharat. Earlier too, he has acted in films with social messages like Mohra & Sab Se Bada Khiladi. Akshay is a true social reformer. I am sure his next film will be on the ill effects of mobiles & social media on the young generation. 
(Modi: Abbe, aisa karega to Twitter pe mere following ka kya hoga?)

MS Dhoni is a true practitioner of science. Just consider the helicopter shot. Before the bowler lands up on his crease, MSD has delved into his mind & is aware what will be bowled. Something AI is still incapable of. Next, as the bowl is released MSD calculates its speed & trajectory to know where exactly it will land. Can the fastest supercomputer supported by an array of cameras do this as quickly? Then MSD applies the laws of physics to hit the ball over the boundary. His brain works faster than even Chacha Chaudhary’s. MSD should be nominated for the Physics Nobel Prize. 
(Modi: Chup kar yaar, mai China ko request kar ke aa raha hu ki mujhe Nobel Peace prize dilwao)

First, Adaniji built all those power plants. Then, Ambaniji reduced 4G data charges. Next, Modiji has delivered electricity to all villages. Do you realise what these great men have together achieved? This will bring about transformational changes in the society. My government will now distribute Jio sim cards through PDS outlets. The young people should now stop running after government jobs because this will solve the problem of unemployment in Tripura. They should now start selling mobile phones & set up mobile service centres in each town & each village. I hope other states also follow the example of Tripura so that our youth is gainfully employed. 
(Modi: O teri… agar sab bachche mobile bechenge to chai/pakode kaun banayega?)

While the western societies have degenerated under the influence of materialism, this has not happened to India. Because people like Asaram Bapu have shown the path of spiritualism to the masses. Spiritualism enables people to not only resist materialistic pressures but also become fearless. Consider rape, for example. Asaramji willingly raped a girl so that people could openly oppose such acts without any fear. Compare the no of rapes being reported by the media or candle light marches before Bapu was caught. While people always considered rape wrong, it is only now that people have started reporting it to the police & media has also started highlighting incidents of rape. Bapu is a saint & a social reformer who has been wrongly judged by the judiciary. 
(Modi: Oye, thoda politics bhi seekh. Asaram jail mein hi achha hai.)

After retirement, our soldiers sit on dharna at Jantar Mantar demanding higher pension. Do we netas ever do so even though many of us lose position after just 5 years? The soldiers should learn from Salman Khan. As Chulbul Pandey, he finished the mafia raj in UP. This was one of the reasons Yogiji could end SP’s goondaraj & establish Ramraj in UP. Then, as Tiger, he helped Indian intelligence services abroad. Without Tiger’s help, RAW would have been a toothless tiger. People criticize Salman for killing a blackbuck. So what, is what I ask of them. He only killed one. And the blackbuck was not immortal, it would have died sooner or later for some reason or the other. But have you considered the increase in environmental awareness created after the incident? Salmanbhai even sacrificed his Bollywood career for the sake of wildlife protection. He is a true Bharat Ratna. 
(Modi: Ye kyon nahi bataya ki Bhai ne mere sath Amdavad mein patang bhi udayi thi.)

I have said this earlier & I will say this again. Modiji is doing what no leader has ever dared to even attempt. Modiji destroyed the entire black money in the country by a simple trick of withdrawing Rs. 1000 notes. Modiji’s opposition to corruption has scared the corrupt & criminals like Vijay Mallya, Neeraj Chokshi & Dawood Ibrahim to flee India. Modiji has delivered justice to innocent people like Maya Kodnani who were victimized by Congress. Modiji has electrified all villages so that the poor can recharge their mobiles whenever they want. Looking beyond India, leaders all over the world are dying to be hugged by Modiji. Under Modiji, India will again be Sone ki Chidiya by 2024. Modiji is the Father of Modern India. 
(Modi: Tu to ek bete se bhi badh kar hai! #LoveUBips)

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