Why stop at Salman, when Bollywood has so much to offer?

Appointment of Salman Khan as the goodwill ambassador of our Olympic squad has created fissures within the sporting community. I have already talked about that in my previous post (Where the Ambassador needs some Goodwill himself). But in the current times when even politicians limit themselves to 140 characters, it’s a good idea to have ambassadors for other areas too. And who better than Bollywood to provide us with these knights? Here’s my choice of Bollywood worthies to promote India & Indianness.

Amitabh Bachchan: How can a Bollywood list begin without the Big B? He may have been made the brand ambassador for Incredible India campaign, but I feel he can be an equally good ambassador for the banking industry. Remember Bofors case, where the Big B’s name cropped up along with brother Ajitabh? That proved that Big B wasn’t just loitering around after his shoots for Yashraj films in Switzerland. But Swiss banks becoming home to all & sundry was not to his comfort & he moved to upcoming destinations like Panama & British Virgin Islands, this time along with daughter-in-law. And it was not just “me & my family” for Amitabh. He also made ordinary Indians into millionaires through his TV show (KBC). Who knows he could be the messiah that Indian banks need after being kingfishered.

Sunny Deol: If love for his wife made him go all the way to Pakistan, imagine what would 125 crore Indians inspire him to achieve. I would like Sunny to be made the goodwill ambassador for the agriculture sector. He will then pull out all the hand pumps in Pakistan, Bangladesh & China which would give some respite to our suffering farmers. I am also sure that BCCI would be willing to shell out the expenses for a smooth conduct of IPL-10. And yes, people staying in Arnab Goswamy’s housing complex would be able to celebrate a wet dhuleti next year!!

Sanjay Dutt: There can be no better person than Sanjay Dutt as the ambassador for our Police force. He not only glamourized the gangster in his movies, but has also played many a memorable role as a cop. In real life too, he made a guarded police premises his second home and the policemen his extended family. Sanju baba is the one to champion the lives of policemen. Of course, I am also hoping that this will also keep him away from real life gangsters & real life guns. And that he will also not play Chatur Singh again!

Alok Nath: If the efforts of people such as Smriti Irani & Yogi Adityanath are successful, we are in for a socio-cultural revolution. But the left/commie/fiberal/sickular brigade is not playing ball. More damaging is the fact that the image of India & Indians is getting sullied abroad. So, who better than Alok Nath to showcase the values of Indian diaspora in the global arena. With the social media frenzy that our Sanskari Babuji generates, the decadent west may finally accept the traditional Indian way of life. But there is a downside to this… Next time our popstar PM performs at Madison Square, it would turn out to be bhajan sandhya. I am not sure whether Modi will like it.

Sunny Leone: It is not just our traditions & values, but also our culture & heritage that need a goodwill ambassador. Today, the world knows us mainly for Yoga & Taj Mahal. What about the other accomplishments of our ancestors in the field of arts, literature, architecture? To promote & popularize past glory, we need a globally known face & Sunny Leone has much more than that!! I don’t expect hordes of tourists waiting for a glimpse of the treasure inside Khajuraho caves just because Sunny is put on the job. But the world will definitely have more interest & better awareness of what our forefathers talked, wrote & created. Maybe, even the IIM’s would start a course in Sanskrit.

Do you have someone in mind who can be added to this list? If so, pls let us all know about him/her.

Picture credits:

Alok Nath (http://www.rediff.com/movies/report/alok-nath-reveals-his-favourite-sanskar-joke/20140103.htm)

Amitabh Bachchan (http://indianexpress.com/article/entertainment/screen/amitabh-bachchans-character-in-aankhen-2-will-be-neither-negative-or-positive/)

Sanjay Dutt (http://www.bollywoodlife.com/news-gossip/is-sanjay-dutt-getting-better-with-age/#!1/sanjay-dutt-policeuniform-220113/)

Sunny Deol (http://www.in.com/sholay/gallery-100-years-of-cinema-unforgettable-cinematic-moments-303498-50004622.html#21)

Sunny Leone (http://www.financialexpress.com/photos/business-gallery/183217/google-trends-india-2015-cricket-wc-beats-bahubali-to-top-sunny-leone-salman-khan-in-top-searches-too/5/)

Or do you prefer one of these Ghar Wapsi's?

This post is not about the much publicized programme of the very vocal & emboldened Sangh parivar outfits. This is just a year-beginning (too late for a year-ending one) list of those illustrious candidates (in no particular order) who want to have, or those some want to see having, or those have been successful in, their own Ghar Wapsi. So, here I go…

Narendra Modi – The sarcastic opposition parliamentarians were clamouring for his Ghar Wapsi from a longish stint of diplomatic duty & election campaigns. He did, yet they were unable to hear him speak what they wanted to hear. Tough luck, said an even more sarcastic Jashodaben.

Anna Hazare – His was the most dramatic return to base. After firing up an entire nation’s imagination, he went back to Ralegan Siddhi once his lieutenant’s political ambitions outgrew the movement. When he conquered Delhi’s maidan & the streets elsewhere, who would have imagined that 2 years later he would not even make it to the inner pages of newspapers?

Dutee Chand – She was a champion athlete in making. But he had to withdraw from competition owing to excess of androgens in her system. Now he has been cleared & she is gearing up to be back on track, literally. Hope she celebrates her Ghar Wapsi with plenty of medals for herself & India, and muck for her detractors.

Arvind Kejriwal – Whether the Delhi electorate wishes it or not, AK has decided for himself that Ghar Wapsi is the only option left open after the drubbing at Varanasi. As a sympathizer & supporter one can only wish, whatever be the outcome, we don’t end up discussing the rent he pays for the Ghar. And of course, a healthy, cold-free, cough-free Wapsi.

Sanjay Dutt – The frequency with which he has been in & out of Yerawada, it is not just his family but fellow inmates too who keep looking forward to his Ghar Wapsi. One can’t fault Sanju baba though, it’s a homecoming for him in either direction.

Team India – The losses that the men in blue have piled up in overseas contests piling up, the fans have given up on them delivering “ache din”. BCCI has to anchor Team India in India by having a longer IPL because that’s the only time our stars shine.

Azam Khan’s Buffaloes – The entire UP Police turned out in strength to ensure the Ghar Wapsi of these VIP Quadrupeds. Maneka Gandhi would have been proud of our Men in Khaki, had they not been under the orders of a rival political party. Last heard, the ASEAN countries have requested a contingent of UP Police to be permanently stationed there for recovery of missing aircrafts.

Congress – The party of the babalog won’t be able to emulate the fairy tale of Azam Khan’s buffaloes. The party of freedom fighters is now a party of the sons & daughters, nephews & nieces, sons-in law & daughters-in-law of the sons & daughters, nephews & nieces, sons-in law & daughters-in-law of the freedom fighters. And they have a long wait ahead of them before their own Dada/Dadi/Nana/Nani ke Ghar (aka Parliament) Wapsi.

Mallika Sherawat – If she is still in Hollywood, what’s she doing there? Now that even Ms. Leone (of all people) has started wearing clothes in her movies, its time Ms. MS made a Ghar Wapsi & reclaim the turf that was originally hers!

The Janta Party offshoots – With BJP occupying the right of antics & centre of politics and the left front left behind in the polls, the various left-of-centre, centre-of-left & left-out-of-centre netas who migrated to politics of caste, religion, language, region & what not, have planned a grand Ghar Wapsi & revive the grandeur of the original Janta Party. Relevance may or may not matter in Indian politics, but will it be back to the front for this born again Front?

MS Dhoni – He ended the year with a helicopter shot of an announcement. The Man with a mane turned Captain Cool will now focus only on ODI’s & T-20’s. Not technically a Ghar Wapsi, it is more of a Vidai from the longer formats.

Now, this is a cue for another year-end list – of the vidai’s we long for. But I will keep it for next year! Return to check it out.

Wishing you lots of fun in 2015!!!

Images courtesy  http://www.frontline.in/, http://www.livemint.com/, http://static.ibnlive.in.com/, http://www.niticentral.com/, http://www.youngisthan.in/, http://img.niticentral.com/ & others