Friday, April 1, 2016

What they said, when India lost

Amir Khan: This is the result of a growing intolerance in the society. When we were filming Lagaan, Gracy was upset with the way the match was progressing & wanted to leave the sets. But I watched the whole match live on tv yesterday. We have to set things right. We should make Lagaan-2.

Arnab Goswamy: The nation wants to know, why the team lost in the semis. Today, in this most watched show, I, Arnab Goswamy, will ask our PM what he is doing in Brussels when India was playing this all important semi final on homeground. The nation wants to know, and I shall make Rahul Gandhi , what has he, as a self-proclaimed youth icon, done for this glorious game, which has given us such lovely memories. He has all the time to visit JNU & HCU, but no time to watch the cricket match? Today, both parties are in the dock & your channel will expose their hypocrisy. Now gentleman, if you will please let me speak. This is my show & you will speak only when i ask you to.

Arvind Kejriwal: This is the result of the corruption in cricket. Look at the muck I exposed in DDCA. The PM should resign after this loss. When I become the PM, I will eliminate corruption from BCCI too. Now, waiting for the release of Ki and Ka…

Assaduddin Owaisi: This team was bound to lose as it did not have representation from the minority community. Teams from England, Australia, Pakistan & Bangladesh had muslim players, but not the Indian team. This government is making cricket a non-exclusive game by keeping out minorities.

Kanhaiya Kumar: Hum le ke rahenge azaadi. Cricket se azaadi. Haar se azaadi. Jeet se azadi. Azaadi…

Mohan Bhagwat: We have to revive the traditional sports. Kabaddi should be made the Rashtiya Khel and included in the school syllabus. All sportspersons should say Bharat Mata ki Jai before a match to prove their nationalism. Sports federations should conduct Satyanarayan Katha before any world/asian championships.

Narendra Modi: Mitro, this loss is the result of the socialistic policies of congress in the last 60 years. Remember Lagaan, where India beat England in cricket? Today, Indian team had nothing to lose, so they lost the match. My government is launching "Har Mohalla, Gend Balla" programme to reclaim the glory of Lagaan. I am also renaming IPL as Bat for India.

Prakash Karat: Cricket is an imperialist game. No great country like Russia, China, Cuba, North Korea, plays cricket. Cricket is a conspiracy of the capitalist forces. Industrialists are promoting cricket to sell their products. Government should form a Joint Parliamentary Committee for nationalisation of cricket.

Rahul Gandhi: India has never won a world cup when there is a non-congress government. This is because of the sacrifice my family has made for the country. Secular forces should come together for revival of the game. Had the Indian team remembered Bernoulli's theorem, they could have got Simmons out early.

Ramdev: Going to the gym only develops the muscles. Team India should also practice Yoga for alround development. Patanjali shall launch herbal, organic food supplements that will make our team physically fitter & mentally stronger.

Uddhav Thackeray: This team cannot carry forward the legacy of Gavaskar, Vengsarkar, Tendulkar. We will not let Team India play in Mumbai if at least 4 Marathi Manoos are not in the playing XI. We also do not want any West Indies player in Mumbai Indians team. We will dig up the road outside Mukesh Ambani's house as a protest.

Picture Credits:


  1. Nice, has an Ashish Dimri trademark on the wittisisms. Keep entertaining!!

  2. Nice, has an Ashish Dimri trademark on the wittisisms. Keep entertaining!!

    1. Thanks for the encouragement! This motivates me to come back with more.

  3. Good one Ashish. had a good laugh this morning.
    one from my side:
    रिपोर्टर- भारत की हार के बारे मे आप क्या कहना चाहते हो

    केजरीवाल- देखिए हमारी दिल्ली के विराट कोहली ओर नेहरा ने तो अच्छा प्रदर्शन किया था। बाकी के खिलाड़ी तो केंद्र सरकार के अंडर मे आते है
    मोदी जी को इस्तीफा देना चाहिए

    1. This one is much better than what I thought of! LOL!!!

  4. Hey Ashish, Good ones!! Keep them coming...LOL

  5. Hey Ashish, Good ones!! Keep them coming...LOL


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