Showing posts with label Baba Ramdev. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baba Ramdev. Show all posts

Friday, November 3, 2017

A Khichdi of Thoughts

This is about the time when I had just moved to Bharuch. Someone suggested having Khichdi for lunch. The classic gujarati Kadhi-Khichdi being something I relish, I went along. Arriving at the joint, I was told there were two varieties of Khichdi’s – one, Rasa Wali, served with chicken gravy & the other, Tari Wali, served with the oil floating on chicken gravy. I haven’t found either at any other town.

The other day, our Hon. Minister for Food Processing was all set to declare Khichdi as the National Food. But she chickened out at the very last minute & not because she loves tikka & tandoori more. She didn’t want another controversy cropping up when election fever is rising in two crucial states. I tell you, these antinational, intolerant, left-leaning libtaards have been creating needless controversies for too long now. I still remember, as if it was yesterday, the noise they made when our government pushed yoga on a global scale. Don’t they feel proud now when the whole world does yoga on International Yoga Day? Thus, I request the Hon. Minister to just go ahead & declare Khichdi as the National Food.

A simple, healthy, easy-to-cook, complete meal as Khichdi deserves its rightful place at the global level. Today, it’s the burgers, noodles, pizzas, etc. that are recognised all around the world. What about Indian dishes? Except for Chicken Tikka Masala, the world is ignorant about our culinary delights. Had we promoted the Vada Pav outside, MacDonald’s would have been a Vada Paav chain that also sold burgers. We cannot let this happen to Khichdi too. Thus the government needs to go all out to push Khichdi as the go-to Super Food. And leave it to Baba Ramdev to set up the Patanjali Khichdi Ghar’s which are sure to outnumber the Pizza Hut’s, MacD’s & Starbucks put together, worldwide.

But the government should first ensure that we get the GI tag for this food. Else, someone in the US will get a patent for Khichdi & we will end up paying him a royalty every time we cook it. The GI tag will also certify Khichdi as the real thing & those like Porridge, Tyraahi (Egypt), Noorkali (Iran), etc. as mere imitators. Khichdi may have various versions & names in different countries. But our civilization is the oldest & our Khichdi is the original one.

Next, the government should organize Khichdi Fests to popularize this Super Food which has more varieties than the no. of states & union territories. In fact much more, if you consider that the small town of Bharuch itself has two. Within India, these will act as a tool for national integration. Once people in part of the country start accepting & appreciating the Khichdi of other parts, language, culture, traditions would soon follow. Outside India, this would ignite their palates & they would come in droves to savor Khichdi in the country of origin. It may as well turn out to be as big a reason to visit India as the Taj Mahal.

Each of us has been force fed Khichdi as a kid when we used to be ill. We can exploit the health benefits (http://www.thehealthsite.com/fitness/khichdi-4-reasons-why-it-is-more-than-just-comfort-food-k214/) of Khichdi. There is another thing missing in the decadent west that we have in abundance – Spiritualism. Club the benefits of Spiritualism & Khichdi & we can sell the concept of Detox Tourism to the west. I believe they would be more than willing for something like this. A month’s visit for complete personal regeneration – physiological as well as spiritual. And an opportunity to take a selfie in front of the Taj too. Can it get any better?

And not to forget, getting UN to select one day in the year as the International Khichdi Day. That would be a day when the whole world eats Khichdi. Armed with the GI tag, Indians would be the only ones to make & sell Khichdi to the world. This would not only help in eliminating unemployment, we would also see the rise of a new breed of Indian entrepreneurs with a global footprint.

If only the government listens…



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Monday, April 4, 2016

Why Boycott When We Can Fight Back?

“Please boycott Chinese goods permanently as China has voted against India in United Nations on the question of terrorism & has supported Pakistan openly. I am going to do it in national interest. You may also join in. Your small step will become movement.” 


This message has been doing the rounds of social media. But I am not in favour of such actions, as this will not be very effective (most of the people sent this message from their Chinese made smart phones!) & also alert the Chinese to our intentions. We should play it smart. I believe in a mix of soft & hard measures, some of which are outlined below:

Cultural Warfare
Earliest Chinese exports to the west were the martial arts movies. While they had Kung Fu & Karate, we have our own Yoga & Malkhamb. Yes, Yoga is popular globally, but we have not really promoted it by way of films nor do we have created icons like Bruce Lee. Imagine, yogis doing all sorts of tricks & acrobatics on screen. This would make the west go crazy & get India the respect it truly deserves. In a movie featuring Baba Ramdev v/s. Jackie Chan, who is your pick? Once this happens we should gradually let off other weapons from our arsenal, such as Ayurveda.

Cricket Diplomacy
During 70’s & 80’s, China had perfected the art of Ping Pong diplomacy; we should now get going with our own version Cricket Diplomacy. It helps that most of our neighbours, being wooed by China, play cricket. What do we do currently? Defeat Bangladesh & Sri Lanka, while losing to New Zealand. Can't we lose matches/series to Bangladesh & Sri Lanka too, and give them some feel good moments? They would then long to invite India for cricket matches & win in front of home crowds. This would also stump the bookies & help make cricket cleaner. Of course, we should continue thrashing Pakistan in world cups, no diplomacy here.

IPL
IPL has been the most successful Indian invention after Zero. We should get Chinese play in IPL teams. Recall what Afridi said about being loved more in India than Pakistan? It was his way of being allowed to play in IPL! Make the Chinese cricketers stars of IPL & when they go back, they will be our advocates. They will also promote cricket in China & the Chinese will then end up spending days playing this sport at the cost of other productive activities.

Export Religion
The communist guru said, Religion is the opium of the masses. And we have the largest variety of religions, semi-religions & non religions. We should encourage our gurus & babas to venture out to China. Once the Chinese fall into the trap of religion, there will be a disproportionate fall in their productivity. Not to speak of other ills that religion brings in (superstition, hatred, violence, etc.). This will also deal a deadly blow to communism & communism-induced discipline in China. I suggest releasing MSG (Messenger of God) in China to test the waters there! Asaram Bapu can be unleashed next.

Promote Made in USA products
Years ago before liberalisation came in, a small town outside Mumbai supplied our major demand of American goods. Ulhasnagar still has the skills to export “Made in USA” (Ulhasnagar Sindhi Association) products to China, and “Made in China” products to rest of the world. Only, we need to revive the industry back to shape (isn’t Make in India, the new mantra?). Because once they hit the global market, the world will stop using Chinese products, while the local Chinese imitators would run out of business. Hit where it hurts, is my preferred style.

Achhe Din
No, this does not refer to what our PM promised. This is about the original messiah of Achhe Din, or shall we call him King of Good Times? Yes, we should send Vijay Mallya to China. Let him produce & sell his alcohol there, so that the Chinese are too hungover in the mornings to produce anything of substance. (For the stronger ones, there is also the Kingfisher Calendar!) And make him set up businesses in China with loans from Chinese banks. He will then be able to pay off his debts to Indian banks, leaving the Chinese banks with all those NPA's! Now you know what “killing two birds with one stone” means.

Dump the BRICS Bank
Simply walk out of BRICS Bank. With Russia in a hole & China going nowhere, this Chinese initiative for dominance of global finance will turn out to be a dud. They will then be left selling weapons to Pakistan & Africa, in a head-to-head competition with Americans & Europeans. And lose whatever Western goodwill they have earned in the last few decades.

Expel Dalai Lama
Now, this is very drastic & goes against the Indian ethos of "Atithi Devo Bhava". Hosting Dalai Lama has been one of the irritants to our relations with China. With him gone, the peaceniks in China will get that sliver of a chance to promote healthier relations with India. Not that, this will help. But Dalai Lama, who will most probably be granted asylum by a western nation, will be able to take his peaceful fight to a truly global stage. Dharamshala is too secluded a place for freedom struggle. The Israeli vacationers there are too obsessed with the Arabs to be of any help to Tibetan cause.

While, these are what I could think of immediately, you would also have great ideas yourself. Why don't you share those here?


Pictures courtesy:

Friday, April 1, 2016

What they said, when India lost


Amir Khan: This is the result of a growing intolerance in the society. When we were filming Lagaan, Gracy was upset with the way the match was progressing & wanted to leave the sets. But I watched the whole match live on tv yesterday. We have to set things right. We should make Lagaan-2.



Arnab Goswamy: The nation wants to know, why the team lost in the semis. Today, in this most watched show, I, Arnab Goswamy, will ask our PM what he is doing in Brussels when India was playing this all important semi final on homeground. The nation wants to know, and I shall make Rahul Gandhi , what has he, as a self-proclaimed youth icon, done for this glorious game, which has given us such lovely memories. He has all the time to visit JNU & HCU, but no time to watch the cricket match? Today, both parties are in the dock & your channel will expose their hypocrisy. Now gentleman, if you will please let me speak. This is my show & you will speak only when i ask you to.

Arvind Kejriwal: This is the result of the corruption in cricket. Look at the muck I exposed in DDCA. The PM should resign after this loss. When I become the PM, I will eliminate corruption from BCCI too. Now, waiting for the release of Ki and Ka…





Assaduddin Owaisi: This team was bound to lose as it did not have representation from the minority community. Teams from England, Australia, Pakistan & Bangladesh had muslim players, but not the Indian team. This government is making cricket a non-exclusive game by keeping out minorities.



Kanhaiya Kumar: Hum le ke rahenge azaadi. Cricket se azaadi. Haar se azaadi. Jeet se azadi. Azaadi…







Mohan Bhagwat: We have to revive the traditional sports. Kabaddi should be made the Rashtiya Khel and included in the school syllabus. All sportspersons should say Bharat Mata ki Jai before a match to prove their nationalism. Sports federations should conduct Satyanarayan Katha before any world/asian championships.






Narendra Modi: Mitro, this loss is the result of the socialistic policies of congress in the last 60 years. Remember Lagaan, where India beat England in cricket? Today, Indian team had nothing to lose, so they lost the match. My government is launching "Har Mohalla, Gend Balla" programme to reclaim the glory of Lagaan. I am also renaming IPL as Bat for India.


Prakash Karat: Cricket is an imperialist game. No great country like Russia, China, Cuba, North Korea, plays cricket. Cricket is a conspiracy of the capitalist forces. Industrialists are promoting cricket to sell their products. Government should form a Joint Parliamentary Committee for nationalisation of cricket.






Rahul Gandhi: India has never won a world cup when there is a non-congress government. This is because of the sacrifice my family has made for the country. Secular forces should come together for revival of the game. Had the Indian team remembered Bernoulli's theorem, they could have got Simmons out early.


Ramdev: Going to the gym only develops the muscles. Team India should also practice Yoga for alround development. Patanjali shall launch herbal, organic food supplements that will make our team physically fitter & mentally stronger.






Uddhav Thackeray: This team cannot carry forward the legacy of Gavaskar, Vengsarkar, Tendulkar. We will not let Team India play in Mumbai if at least 4 Marathi Manoos are not in the playing XI. We also do not want any West Indies player in Mumbai Indians team. We will dig up the road outside Mukesh Ambani's house as a protest.







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