Why Boycott When We Can Fight Back?

“Please boycott Chinese goods permanently as China has voted against India in United Nations on the question of terrorism & has supported Pakistan openly. I am going to do it in national interest. You may also join in. Your small step will become movement.” 

This message has been doing the rounds of social media. But I am not in favour of such actions, as this will not be very effective (most of the people sent this message from their Chinese made smart phones!) & also alert the Chinese to our intentions. We should play it smart. I believe in a mix of soft & hard measures, some of which are outlined below:

Cultural Warfare

Earliest Chinese exports to the west were the martial arts movies. While they had Kung Fu & Karate, we have our own Yoga & Malkhamb. Yes, Yoga is popular globally, but we have not really promoted it by way of films nor do we have created icons like Bruce Lee. Imagine, yogis doing all sorts of tricks & acrobatics on screen. This would make the west go crazy & get India the respect it truly deserves. In a movie featuring Baba Ramdev v/s. Jackie Chan, who is your pick? Once this happens we should gradually let off other weapons from our arsenal, such as Ayurveda.

Cricket Diplomacy

During 70’s & 80’s, China had perfected the art of Ping Pong diplomacy; we should now get going with our own version Cricket Diplomacy. It helps that most of our neighbours, being wooed by China, play cricket. What do we do currently? Defeat Bangladesh & Sri Lanka, while losing to New Zealand. Can't we lose matches/series to Bangladesh & Sri Lanka too, and give them some feel good moments? They would then long to invite India for cricket matches & win in front of home crowds. This would also stump the bookies & help make cricket cleaner. Of course, we should continue thrashing Pakistan in world cups, no diplomacy here.

IPL

IPL has been the most successful Indian invention after Zero. We should get Chinese play in IPL teams. Recall what Afridi said about being loved more in India than Pakistan? It was his way of being allowed to play in IPL! Make the Chinese cricketers stars of IPL & when they go back, they will be our advocates. They will also promote cricket in China & the Chinese will then end up spending days playing this sport at the cost of other productive activities.

Export Religion

The communist guru said, Religion is the opium of the masses. And we have the largest variety of religions, semi-religions & non religions. We should encourage our gurus & babas to venture out to China. Once the Chinese fall into the trap of religion, there will be a disproportionate fall in their productivity. Not to speak of other ills that religion brings in (superstition, hatred, violence, etc.). This will also deal a deadly blow to communism & communism-induced discipline in China. I suggest releasing MSG (Messenger of God) in China to test the waters there! Asaram Bapu can be unleashed next.

Promote Made in USA products

Years ago before liberalisation came in, a small town outside Mumbai supplied our major demand of American goods. Ulhasnagar still has the skills to export “Made in USA” (Ulhasnagar Sindhi Association) products to China, and “Made in China” products to rest of the world. Only, we need to revive the industry back to shape (isn’t Make in India, the new mantra?). Because once they hit the global market, the world will stop using Chinese products, while the local Chinese imitators would run out of business. Hit where it hurts, is my preferred style.

Achhe Din

No, this does not refer to what our PM promised. This is about the original messiah of Achhe Din, or shall we call him King of Good Times? Yes, we should send Vijay Mallya to China. Let him produce & sell his alcohol there, so that the Chinese are too hungover in the mornings to produce anything of substance. (For the stronger ones, there is also the Kingfisher Calendar!) And make him set up businesses in China with loans from Chinese banks. He will then be able to pay off his debts to Indian banks, leaving the Chinese banks with all those NPA's! Now you know what “killing two birds with one stone” means.

Dump the BRICS Bank

Simply walk out of BRICS Bank. With Russia in a hole & China going nowhere, this Chinese initiative for dominance of global finance will turn out to be a dud. They will then be left selling weapons to Pakistan & Africa, in a head-to-head competition with Americans & Europeans. And lose whatever Western goodwill they have earned in the last few decades.

Expel Dalai Lama

Now, this is very drastic & goes against the Indian ethos of "Atithi Devo Bhava". Hosting Dalai Lama has been one of the irritants to our relations with China. With him gone, the peaceniks in China will get that sliver of a chance to promote healthier relations with India. Not that, this will help. But Dalai Lama, who will most probably be granted asylum by a western nation, will be able to take his peaceful fight to a truly global stage. Dharamshala is too secluded a place for freedom struggle. The Israeli vacationers there are too obsessed with the Arabs to be of any help to Tibetan cause.

While, these are what I could think of immediately, you would also have great ideas yourself. Why don't you share those here?

Pictures courtesy:

Baba Ramdev (http://pyptinternationalyogaday.com/home.php)

Messenger of God (http://www.newsnation.in/article/66452-sequel-msg-the-messenger-god-on-maker.html)

Vijay Mallya (http://daily.bhaskar.com/news/CEL-liquor-babes-moolah-how-the-king-of-good-times-lived-it-up-4976372-PHO.html) 

What they said, when India lost

Amir Khan: This is the result of a growing intolerance in the society. When we were filming Lagaan, Gracy was upset with the way the match was progressing & wanted to leave the sets. But I watched the whole match live on tv yesterday. We have to set things right. We should make Lagaan-2.

Arnab Goswamy: The nation wants to know, why the team lost in the semis. Today, in this most watched show, I, Arnab Goswamy, will ask our PM what he is doing in Brussels when India was playing this all important semi final on homeground. The nation wants to know, and I shall make Rahul Gandhi , what has he, as a self-proclaimed youth icon, done for this glorious game, which has given us such lovely memories. He has all the time to visit JNU & HCU, but no time to watch the cricket match? Today, both parties are in the dock & your channel will expose their hypocrisy. Now gentleman, if you will please let me speak. This is my show & you will speak only when i ask you to.

Arvind Kejriwal: This is the result of the corruption in cricket. Look at the muck I exposed in DDCA. The PM should resign after this loss. When I become the PM, I will eliminate corruption from BCCI too. Now, waiting for the release of Ki and Ka…

Assaduddin Owaisi: This team was bound to lose as it did not have representation from the minority community. Teams from England, Australia, Pakistan & Bangladesh had muslim players, but not the Indian team. This government is making cricket a non-exclusive game by keeping out minorities.

Kanhaiya Kumar: Hum le ke rahenge azaadi. Cricket se azaadi. Haar se azaadi. Jeet se azadi. Azaadi…

Mohan Bhagwat: We have to revive the traditional sports. Kabaddi should be made the Rashtiya Khel and included in the school syllabus. All sportspersons should say Bharat Mata ki Jai before a match to prove their nationalism. Sports federations should conduct Satyanarayan Katha before any world/asian championships.

Narendra Modi: Mitro, this loss is the result of the socialistic policies of congress in the last 60 years. Remember Lagaan, where India beat England in cricket? Today, Indian team had nothing to lose, so they lost the match. My government is launching "Har Mohalla, Gend Balla" programme to reclaim the glory of Lagaan. I am also renaming IPL as Bat for India.

Prakash Karat: Cricket is an imperialist game. No great country like Russia, China, Cuba, North Korea, plays cricket. Cricket is a conspiracy of the capitalist forces. Industrialists are promoting cricket to sell their products. Government should form a Joint Parliamentary Committee for nationalisation of cricket.

Rahul Gandhi: India has never won a world cup when there is a non-congress government. This is because of the sacrifice my family has made for the country. Secular forces should come together for revival of the game. Had the Indian team remembered Bernoulli's theorem, they could have got Simmons out early.

Ramdev: Going to the gym only develops the muscles. Team India should also practice Yoga for alround development. Patanjali shall launch herbal, organic food supplements that will make our team physically fitter & mentally stronger.

Uddhav Thackeray: This team cannot carry forward the legacy of Gavaskar, Vengsarkar, Tendulkar. We will not let Team India play in Mumbai if at least 4 Marathi Manoos are not in the playing XI. We also do not want any West Indies player in Mumbai Indians team. We will dig up the road outside Mukesh Ambani's house as a protest.

Picture Credits:

Amir Khan (http://khoobsurati.com/aamir-khans-first-look-pk-yay-nay.html)

Arnab Goswamy (http://topyaps.com/facts-about-arnab-goswami)

Arvind Kejriwal (http://www.ndtv.com/cheat-sheet/one-month-of-arvind-kejriwals-government-five-hits-and-five-misses-549064)

Asaduddin Owaisi (http://www.deccanchronicle.com/151005/nation-current-affairs/article/asaduddin-owaisi-ar-rahman-among-worlds-top-500-most)

Kanhaiya Kumar (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanhaiya_Kumar)

Mohan Bhagwat (http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report-rss-chief-mohan-bhagwat-calls-for-building-classless-society-2072744)

Narendra Modi (http://www.firstpost.com/politics/the-similarities-between-chandrababu-naidu-and-narendra-modi-664259.html)

Prakash Karat (http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/bangalore/who-are-devas-shareholders-karat-asks-government/article1451717.ece)

Rahul Gandhi (http://archive.financialexpress.com/news/rahul-gandhi-compares-narendra-modi-to-mass-killer-adolf-hitler-at-rally/1232710)

Ramdev (http://www.newsmobile.in/articles/2015/06/21/bend-it-like-baba/)

Uddhav Thackeray (http://www.maharashtrapoliticalparties.in/uddhav-thackeray.html) 

The missing National Family finally pieced together!

We are becoming too sensitive. Last week, 8 persons attempted suicide in Rajkot to get the cow declared as Mother of the Nation. (Pls read http://indianexpress.com/article/india/india-news-india/rajkot-8-attempt-suicide-demanding-cow-be-declared-as-rashtra-maata/). A few months back, a Shiv Sena MP had demanded the same. (Pls read http://indianexpress.com/article/india/india-news-india/declare-cow-as-mother-of-the-nation-shiv-sena-mp/).

This was bound to happen. After declaring Gandhiji as the Father of the Nation, we stopped at that. Didn’t our founders know that Indians are clannish & other national icons should have been so honoured to avoid controversies? With a strong Prime Minister leading a government having a full majority, I request the Government of India to set up a committee and recommend names for the full set of national icons.

To get this going, here are my suggestions for our National Family:

Father: Let’s stick to the venerable MK Gandhi. That there is no other claimant for the position is evidence enough of his universal acceptance.

Mother: I don’t really back the cow for I want real humans. But I don’t want to have people dying on this account. Also, I will never annoy the Shiv Sena. So, Cow gets my vote for as the Rashtra Mata. Also, the cow has never been considered an animal, rather a part of the family, in our rich tradition. It has also taught us to be modest & humble. I remember, as a kid, we used to say "gai humari mata hai, humko kuchh nahi aata hai". It is still the same story.

Chacha: Nehru has occupied this position for a long time & Indians don’t rock the family boat. So, Nehru remains the Chacha.

Tau: I would go for Sardar Patel, simply because he was older than Nehru & Nehru is the Chacha. But at a time when the Jats are not in the best of moods, let us opt for the original Tau of indian politics – Devi Lal. Isn't a Jat being the Rashtra Tau a far greater honour than anything else? We can now hope that the Jats will forget about reservations for a few years. And that the railways will be able to peacefully move men and goods around.

Mausi: If Cow is the mother, shouldn’t Buffalo be the maternal aunt? After all, gai-bhais are always spoken as a pair. Buffaloes, though not revered as the cows, have been an equally integral part of agrarian life. And Mausis have always been an integral part of the family lore. Even Sholay, the first celebration of male bonding, had a Mausi playing a pivotal role in the movie.

Mama: Now this is the most difficult position. Who should be the role model, Shakuni or Kans? But we are selecting a national icon & Kans is definitely not a role model. My vote goes to Digvijay Singh, being the mentor of Rahul Gandhi in his (so far) failed political journey. For all the good intentions backing the wrong horse, shouldn’t this be the only criterion to emulate Shakuni mama? Diggy Raja wins hands down.

Bua: Umpteen no. of movies (the David Dhawan-Govinda ones are recalled immediately) have had a spinster Bua in a key role, who is wooed by the father/uncle of her nephew’s/neice’s love interest. Reminds you of Jayalalitha? Same here, and so it is her as our Rashtra Bua. Whether in prison, or out of it, she is the most sought after neta by the political backroom boys in Delhi.

Didi: This is a no-contest with Mamata Banerjee the only claimant. (If you do not find an image here, you can very well guess why!)

Bhaiya: Only a UPwala can fill this position for obvious reasons! We can consider the Biharis too, but the greatest of them (Laloo Prasad) will never be accepted by the proposed Rashtra Mata & Rashtra Mausi. Since beginning, every street level wannabe politician in UP has aspired to be the CM & every state level neta has considered himself to be a potential PM. A difficult choice, this one, as every UPwala thinks he is a political strategist. But I have the solution! As a national icon, who can match the Chhora Ganga Kinarewala? Even the most bhaiya of bhaiyas would agree.

Beta: Another no brainer. The one who has managed to stay a youth icon even deep into his middle age, the one who is (Congress’s) hope for the future, the one who is still feeling his steps in the world… Can there be any other National Kid?

Beti: Left out because our nation/society/tradition does not love, respect or care for our daughters.

Which completes our Rashtra Parivar, as far as I am concerned. But these are only suggestions from my side. For, I am a nobody & believe our netas are better suited for the job. I am sure, amidst all the walk-outs & sit-ins in the parliament, they will manage to find time for this job in national interest.

Picture credits:

Father (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f3/Mohandas_K._Gandhi,_portrait.jpg)

Mother (http://www.gettyimages.in/detail/video/woman-feeding-fodder-to-her-cow-faridabad-haryana-stock-video-footage/157296191)

Chacha (http://acurator.com/blog/Karsh_Nehru_Jawaharlal_01.jpg)

Tau (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d0/Chaudhary_Devi_Lal.jpg)

Mausi (http://www.hindustantimes.com/rf/image_size_640x362/HT/p1/2013/08/08/Incoming/Pictures/1105281_Wallpaper1.jpg)

Mama (http://static.indianexpress.com/m-images/M_Id_385152_Digvijay_.jpg)

Bua (http://s2.firstpost.in/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/jayalalithaa1AFP.gif)

Bhaiya (https://mrandmrs55.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/amitabh-bachchan-don-2.jpg)

Beta (http://media.indiatimes.in/media/content/2015/Nov/rahul-gandhi-in-bengaluru_5457bca4-9445-11e5-b13b-1ee01ddf34ff_1448604291.jpg)

United by Emblems, Divided by Slogans

Bharat Mata ki Jai!! What was the harm had he said this? What was the harm if he did not say this? But Waris Pathan was suspended from the Maharashtra assembly when they all ganged up after being unable to force him to say this. Surprisingly, Waris Pathan did not have any issues in saying Jai Maharashtra or Jai Hind. So, even if he is not a nationalist (as measured by the current political currency), he can't be called an antinational either. Well, he is a true politician!

But let’s not get drawn into the politics of the matter. Having far more important things to do, let us identify a slogan that would be acceptable to all so that we have a uniform measure to assess a person’s nationalism. We will begin with the ones that have been popular till now:

Bharat Mata ki Jai: This has been a universally accepted phrase, till Waris Pathan refused. We have always addressed our nation as “motherland” & Bharat Mata means just that. Maybe, Waris Pathan does not like to equate the nation with mothers. Even Germans do not. Maybe, there are other Indians too who feel the same way, but are less vocal. That mothers are loved while fathers are respected, could be a reason. But a united nation takes everyone along & we may as well drop this one.

Vande Mataram: This was the first litmus test for nationalism issued by BJP. Naturally, parties representing other communities will not accept this. Also, because it originates in a pre-independence day book (Anand Math) that was about a supposedly religious sect, gives it a communal colour for some. And being a Sanskrit phrase, the non-hindi speaking ones may not really like to the same extent.

Hindustan Zindabad: Now, where is this one lost? Not heard it for a long time. Being an Urdu phrase, the hindu right wing elements will associate this with muslims & not support it. And the non-hindu right wing will oppose it for the term “hindu”. Moreover, Hindustan is supposed to be a persianised term for those who lived along the banks of Indus (or Sindhu) river. Now, Indus is no longer in India & Pakistan should be, technically, called Hindustan. Which means, if someone says Hindustan Zindabad, he is actually praising Pakistan. Better terminate this line of thought here, before they come after my blood!!

Jai Hind: Association with Indus river holds true for this one too. But this slogan was given to us by the left leaning (going by the inclination of the party he founded) Subhash Chandra Bose & may not be acceptable to the rightwing or the centrist parties, though they cannot afford to be vocal about it.

Inqalab Zindabad: It has lost its relevance 70 years after we attained independence. Moreover, not to belittle the efforts each person who fought for our independence, we won our freedom through a largely peaceful struggle while this slogan was chanted by the young idealists who had taken up the gun. Of course, this slogan is still used by those in the extreme left of the political spectrum and still dream of a revolution. This is also heard at JNU, and isn’t it a place infested with antinationals?

Now, if the traditional slogans do not work for everyone it is time we looked at a new one.

Jai Bharat is one which immediately comes to mind & even Waris Pathan should not have any issues with this one. After all, I am not a BJP supporter. But Bharat, as a nation, was very different from the one we live in. States south of the Vindhyachal range may not feel the same emotional bond with Bharat. While, those parts of ancient Bharat that are no longer part of India would not be comfortable with this & make it difficult for our PM to drop down for a cup of tea in the neighbourhood. Also, connecting it with the Akhand Bharat doctrine of the RSS, this may not be acceptable to many.

Hail India would have been a safe bet, being an anglicized term for a country shaped by the brits. But this form of salutation has been used in the past by Hitler, and much later by Mogambo. How can we use it & belittle the efforts of Mr. India?

Mera Bharat Mahan is an old slogan that was in vogue in the mid-eighties. That it was pasted on cars & trucks alike is the proof of its wide acceptability & secular credentials. But that would mean crediting Rajiv Gandhi & who would like to do this? Not with someone like Rahul Gandhi being still around!

I think I should give up. This is a difficult task for someone of low intellect like me. We have enough creative brains in this country who can coin far catchier slogans. A lot of awards are also lying unclaimed & we may as well give those to the ones who come up with the best slogans.

Here’s hoping that we come up with a universally acceptable slogan sometime soon, one that will unite us all (like the Ashok Stambha). Or, accept that each one is good enough.

And Bapus ran on a cold winter morning...

What will you do if you go for a run (part of a series of running posts for the blog), take a wrong turn & end up running half the distance you planned, on a route that had not much of interest, where you did not bump into anyone interesting enough to stop & chat with, and end up with that demoralizing feel of an unfinished task? Well, I will write about it despite there being not much! As you know, we salespersons can talk forever on no topic whatsoever. So, here comes my experience of the Rajkot Half Marathon (24th Jan, 2016) held in the heart of Bapudom, or Kathiawad if you so prefer. (To the ignorant, Bapus are the coolest community anywhere. But be warned, one doesn’t ever mess with a Bapu.)

To begin with, why did I land up in Rajkot? Well, I missed Ahmedabad owing to illness & decided to make up with Rajkot HM. And yes, catching up with Jyotin Kalaria, a dear friend (nicknamed Bapu for being a Kathiawadi), was what made me drive to Rajkot after 2 practically sleepless nights. There are 3 routes to reach Rajkot from Baroda –Baroda-Ahmedabad-Bagodara-Rajkot (around 325 km), Baroda-Vasad-Borsad-Bagodara-Rajkot (around 285 km), Baroda-Sindhrot-Borsad-Bagodara-Rajkot (around 280 km). The route through Ahmedabad is longer but a good road all the way through. Borsad to Bhagodra stretch (around 80 km) is a road that has been left unfinished, for we saw no signs of any construction activity on the way though there is enough evidence of the road being widened & flyovers under construction. If you take on this portion during daylight hours, you can still save on time compared to going all the way to Ahmedabad Ring Road (which is always congested). We went via Vasad & returned via Sindhrot & I recommend traveling via Sindhrot which is a newly surfaced & less trafficked route.

Rajkot, on first visit, appears to be a good city. Even in the peak rush hour traffic one can simply drive through as if on a major highway. After a missed turn & an additional 30 km drive, we reached Jyotin’s place in good time. Depositing wife & kid at home, I went out to meet him near his office which was quite close by (less than a kilometer). Now I know why the Rajkotians can afford their Baporias (afternoon naps, which are a religion in Rajkot). 

Post-dinner, we again moved out to have a feel of the town (this time with the wives in tow). We stopped at Galaxy Pan, where I tried out the famous Fire Paan. The Paan is the normal meetha paan (or as you may order). They put 4 cloves over it & put these on fire. The still alight paan is put into your mouth, which is quite scary the first time round (if you have never witnessed this yourself earlier). Of course, the biggest risk is your moustache getting burnt in the process, so the angle of your face becomes very important. You see, I always have some helpful advice for you (there’s more near the end)!!

Rajkot had prepared well for its maiden Marathon. Jyotin appreciated the clever move by the local admin to have an early start which would make it easy to manage the typical Rajkot traffic. I wasn’t so sure whether the Bapus can be so “managed”, but my experience the next day belied my fears on this account.

We (Jyotin & Kush (his kid), both doing the 5K, and I) got ready later than I would have wished & left for the venue on his Bike. He was informed by his office colleagues, who were also running, about the roads being closed for traffic for the HM. It was cold & chilly, and it helped I was the pillion. Nearing the venue, there was a big traffic jam. Half the city was going to the venue, while the other half was going in the opposite direction (maybe to get their 1^st dose of Gathia, a snack that Rajkotians can eat any time of the day) & there was only one half of the road available for vehicular movement (other being dedicated for the runners). It took some time, but we made our way to the venue. Perhaps, the bapus were not in their elements so early in the morning, or maybe they were too focused to get to their favorite Gathia joint. A saurashtrian’s love for Gathias is such that I feel this region should be called Gathiawad.

Rajkot Half Marathon was organized by the Rajkot Municipal Corporation (RMC) & the Rajkot City Police (RCP). The administration, ably led by Municipal Commissioner Vijay Nehra, had put all its resources to make this event a success. This was very well publicized with hoardings & posters all over the town (something I did not find at Nasik). There were water points & aid stations practically every 2 km or so. The locals lined up the entire route cheering the runners. They also had separate start & end points for the 5K runners & 10K/HM runners. This helped to decongest the more serious, timed events. The police were all over the place & the traffic was very well managed. I did not see any restless traffic waiting at crossroads for runners to pass (as one sees in Ahmedabad). Had it not been so, the police would have had the toughest time of their lives, because an agitated Bapu is someone to be avoided at all costs. Ask the Brits, who had to relinquish the jewel in their crown because of an angry Bapu!

They also got a lot of support from the local population. All along the route, schools & organisations had put up temporary stages to cheer the runners by way of music, dance, and some acrobatics too. It seems to me these kids performing on the sidelines would sweat less if they run the HM. They have to be on their feet throughout the event. But they had their Commissioner as the role model, who ran the full 21K (seen in the pic along with the Brand Ambassador, Cheteshwar Pujara). If our politicians also make it a habit to run at such events, we would not only get fitter leaders but also better roads.

One of the objectives of the event was to create awareness about cleanliness. Most of the posters lining up the route were on cleanliness. After the Prime Minister’s call for #SwachhBharat, there has been a visible change in the way local administrations have been going about promoting cleanliness. But the Rajkot Marathon was not all about words. If there were posters all over, there were also volunteers near hydration points collecting empty water bottles (as in the pic here). Great work, RMC!!

But this one caught the eye. There was this poster, placed against a streetlight, talking about making Rajkot a Litter Free city. Looking up, I saw another poster for a real estate project. it said “Dream City, Gateway to Heaven”. I do not know if this was intentional or a coincidence. But, a litter-free city would be anyone’s dream city. And not just a gateway, but heaven in itself.

I was running faster than normal & feeling very pleased about it. This was probably to it being a cold morning that made it comfortable to run on the road. Moreover, I had started out with the first bunch of runners & escaped the crowding & the jostling at the beginning of the run. I also had to stop often to take pictures of all those witty posters that the organisers had put up. At one such point, where some school kids were standing with placards, I stopped to read & take picture. The cop posted there asked me to continue running as I would come in the way of oncoming runners. This bugged me no end. With the whole road width available why would the runners bump into me? I was also surprised at this cop persisting with his duty, who probably deduced I was an outsider as I was speaking Hindi. But a brief exchange of words convince him that I was a Gujarati by birth & domicile, even if not a Kathiawadi. This ended up with the cop minding his post, leaving me free to do what I pleased.

Now, to the posters that were put up along the route to motivate the runners. Some of these were (my thoughts in brackets, italicized):

Running is Gift (i.e. Every child is gifted, but we discard/misplace the gift as we grow older.)
Marathon is Science (They shouldn’t have put this up, it will turn off a lot of students.)
Two Legs move the Soul (If this dictum catches up, peddlers of spiritualism would be soon out of business. I hope it does!)
Run Fast, Run Far (This was at the 3K mark. But I can do only one, not both.)
Run Fast, Run Slow, Run Far, Run Close (This was at the 4K mark. We finally got a choice & I am beginning to love it.)
When your Legs get tired, run with your Heart (Friendly advise at the 4.5K mark, much before the mind turns off.)
Dare to Go the Distance (That’s what we all were here for, isn’t it?)
Run with your Heart, not with your Legs (Nearing the end, do we have a choice?)
Forget the Miles, Just Remember the Glory (When it all ends, it’s the miles that add to the glory.)
It doesn’t get Easier, You just get Stronger (Apt for the 19K mark, where it was put up.)

This one I loved the most! 

Now, back to running. After around some 12-13 kilometres, I found I was running at a pace that was way beyond my capabilities. I realized this when a couple of African runners overtook me. Being overtaken is quite normal, as the leading pack of Full Marathoners always finishes earlier than I do my Half Marathon. But there was no FM distance at Rajkot, nor did I have a significant advantage of an early start. And I suddenly realized (by the Bib colour) that all runners around me were dong the 10K. Some mental arithmetic convinced me that I had goofed up & was now doing only the 10K. (Later, after I had finished my run & looking for a clue in the pics I had taken, I realized where I had taken the wrong turn). This dampened the spirit & I started looking out for volunteers who would be able to tell me how I could rectify the error (or, how far back would I have to go to resume my HM). I didn’t find any. All I could see were traffic cops & onlookers.

From here onwards it was a mix of emotions. Disappointment at missing out on another HM finish. Anger for being so stupid. Wonder at how/where/why I erred so. Frustration for being unable to locate a volunteer. Disappointment at not doing a HM in the month. But I had to finish the run, whatever the distance I ended up doing & I continued. An optimistic thought persisted – maybe the HM was two loops of 10K. After another turn, I found myself in the midst of a big crowd of runners. It was a big crowd consisting of the 5K & 10K participants. We were near the end point. Volunteers (cops again) guided me (the HM runner) to my route. It was an empty stretch I landed up in. I tried to convince myself that the HM was really two loops & I was still on the right track. Alas, I did not even get enough time for this. I ended up inside the sports ground, where I came up against this last poster. This one pierced my heart. I had run but found myself at the finish point of the wrong distance.

Now for some gyan (I warned you in the beginning) on why/how this happened & can be avoided:

• One should be clear about the route, especially in a new town. The organisers did not keep the route map in my kit. I did not also go through route put up on the website. I thought I will just follow other runners, but ended up with the wrong set.
• One should be at the venue in good time before the race starts. Maybe, the organisers would have important announcements to make & one shouldn’t miss that. Apart from the route, there may be other important things they would like to point out.
• There should be volunteers to guide runners at important junctions. There was none at Surat. My wife tells me, at the Spice Coast Marathon (Kochi), they had volunteers separating the 5K & 10K runners.
• And finally, when there are multiple events, opt for the longer distance. Imagine running a 10K & ending up doing a HM!

To cut a short story shorter, I was one of the earliest finishers. Post-run, Rajkot provides not only the mandatory fruits & water, but also milk & green tea to the runners. After a bit of coordination issues, I managed to join Jyotin & we reached back home. While having the standard Rajkot breakfast (of course, Gathia), I received this SMS. Wow, I need to print & frame this! Later, we again went to Galaxy Pan & I had another flaming paan, this time with more confidence (as can be seen in the video below). The medal, sadly, stayed in the pocket. The Soda Chhaas (another specialty of Rajkot) will have to wait till I complete this HM.

Pic credit:

Vijay Nehra & Cheteshwar Pujara - http://indianexpress.com/article/cities/ahmedabad/rajkot-marathon-37000-participate-kenyans-ethiopians-bag-top-prizes/